Baby Blue [unfinished]

4

Hey! so before hand, I wanted to give a little warning. I'm not sure about anyone else but when i read the descriptions of feelings and stuff or write them i feel them even if there wasn't some sort of reason for me to, so i just wanted to say that there's a bit of a description of sensory overload (or at least how i experience it and how I've seen others have it) and a little bit of a panic attack. Just a warning. (Also possible self harm tw? It's only spoken of, and its part of the sensory overload). Just thought I should say before hand so that it doesn't effect somebody. You never know. 

By the time Wednesday came Sal was completely drained of most -to all- emotion. His slow working job, online classes, and almost constant intrusive thoughts were slowly wearing him down. He was, by all means, an introvert, but four days locked inside your house with your cat and the occasional buddy to text was not enough interaction for the average (or even below average) human.

He walked to a small town on a lake that was only a short ways from his apartment to search around and give him something to do before meeting with his therapist.

He went into a couple different shops, buying a couple knick knacks and sweets before finding an old antique shop. Old things like this always called to him.

He went in and searched around for awhile, coming out with a cool spoon with a flower design on the end and some old Victorian style pictures he found in a closed old box.

---

He stepped into the office. The kind young boy that worked at the front desk offered him a seat until the other 'patient' was finished. The young girl walked out of the small room and to the only other person in the waiting room. She had red around her eyes but was all around rather beautiful. The man who was waiting for her smiled and got up when she finally found her place standing next to him. Things like this is what really made him realize that this was a place of business, and that he also wasn't the only one suffering. It somehow gave him a strange sense of calm. Sal was then called in to the office. She stood smiling sweetly as she held the door open for him. He took his usual seat, setting his bag of newly found things on the floor next to him.

"So, what do you have there?" She asked with a smile.

"Some old pictures. Ya know Victorian stuff. Oh and i got a cool spoon too"

She nodded "Do you mind if i take a look?" A smile crossed her face when he placed the pictures in her hand.

"These are beautiful, Sal."

He laughed lightly. "They had other ones. I think the older ones call to me though. More ghosts or something like that" he joked, waving his hands a little.

She laughed lightly before handing the pictured back carefully. "Alright, you get started then?"

"Yes ma'am" he nodded.

---

They talked about things that had happened, her giving her own stories to try and make things more casual and comfortable.

Then came the question he was actually excited for. The one that he normally dreaded.

The usual "Have you made any friends or acquaintances."

He knew that his face lit up, and he could see the excitement on her face towards his reaction.

"I'm really bad at labeling people as friends or not," She nodded in agreement, causing him to laugh. "But I think I made a kind of friend?"

"Really now?" She said, leaning forward.

"Maybe it's two? I dunno" he smiled.

"Even better. The more the merrier right?"

He nodded before telling the whole story of this passed Saturday, explaining the groceries and how it was crazy that such a small woman was doing that twice a week every week. He explained his slight panic at seeing an attractive person, and the texts he had with said person.

After showing the texts, she laughed lightly.

"I mean, to me it looks like flirting. But romance was never my strong suit. That's why I'm not a marriage counselor" She joked.

Sal froze, clenching and unclenching the hand that wasn't holding his phone.

"You... You uh... Think so...?" He asked, turning a light shade of red.

She smiled widely. "Sure looks like it to me."

He nodded, turning off his phone and putting it back into his pocket.

"So, shall we continue?"

He nodded, still stiff.

---

One therapy session later, Sal felt a good amount worse than before. He had shared a bit more than he was comfortable with in his word vomit, and it was things he could never take back. Things about his life. Things about his family. Things about his father. Everything felt too close. Too tight. He thought he was choking but noticed that he had nothing to choke on. He wanted to go home and rip all of his clothes off and scrub himself down until he reopened wounds that have been long closed. He wanted to vomit. To break something. To break anything, even if it was part of himself.

He walked silently, his whole body itching and shaking. It was so real even if no one else could see it.

And yet here he was, at that same stop light he was at just a few days ago. The area and the new memories attached to it helped him focus, and calm himself down. Even if it was only a little bit.

Until a bicyclist drove slightly too close to him while going the other direction. The guy was maybe a foot away, but with all of the other noises it was way too close.

It would be an understatement to say he lost his shit. Though it was more internal, he felt like he was burning. Like the little old man standing next to him was holding a lighter right up to his face. He felt like he was going to explode. Like if he didn't do something now. Didn't somehow fix this immediately, he was going to die,

He squatted down on the sidewalk, covering his eyes with one hand, balancing himself with the other. He sat silently, trying to calm himself down enough to not freak out on the street. He knew that he would never want to step outside again if that happened. There were too many people around. He usually isn't one for caring what others think. Not about his looks, or his actions. But on the verge of a panic attack he sure as hell is.

"Hey,"

He felt a small hand set on top of his head. He tensed immediately. His mind started racing. He couldn't tell who it was. Couldn't see the owner of the hand. Was it a stranger? It had to be. He knows barely anyone out here anyway. All the people he knew were back in hel- Jersey. There was no one-

"You alright, Sal?" She asked lightly.

Sal jerked his head up, seeing the small woman from the week before. He calmed slightly as he sighed through his nose. Trying not to seem too crazy.

"Yeah... uh. I just got a little... uhm... spooked. Yep... Thats all." He said, pulling a small crooked, obviously forced, smile onto his face.

"Alright, well come on then. Off the sidewalk" She smiled. "Would you like to come over for lunch again today?"

"As long as I'm not bothering. Intruding or... whatever ya know?" He said, standing slowly. Sort of shakily.

"It's not a problem at all" She said, placing a hand on the middle of his back.

"As long as i dont bother you" He nodded, crossing the street with the small woman.

He wondered to himself when her second shopping day was, if it wasn't today.

Helped to calm him down at least. 

1222 words 

6516 characters 

Give it up for the longest and newest chapter yet. What a satisfying number as well hehe.