Life Is A Bitch, Right?

summer's start

Sumner came, and I feel like I'm going crazy.

Work is average,but people are cruel.

The heat worsens their mood and makes them terribly crude.

I have no appetite, the only thing appealing will make me fatter than I already am.

Finally it is time to put my junior year of school behind me. That was a hell worse than past years when it came to friendship.

Fuck being close with girls.Too many stab you in the back or hurt you some other way.

Luckily I have a few guy friends who I can trust, but most have moved on, finally done with high school. In September my Prince is leaving,just before I turn 18.

All this time he has rescued me from the darkness, but I still add scars.

Numbness, darkness, anger, all these just make me sink, and No matter what he does I can't swim. He will pull me back to land, but I keep diving back in and drowning.

Why can't I just stay up?

My guys know, one tried to help me throw away my blades, but I told him I'd just find more.

They try to help me but their light fades once we part,

making me weak and aching in my heart.

I say I'm okay, I promise I'm fine,

but I know the feeling will return in a matter of time.

I want help, I want to be better but I always slip and fall from grace.

I bury myself in work and music, try to stay busy, but with summer here it's getting harder.

I need to be free from the cruelty I live with,

I need to stay busy and distracted,

maybe I'll write more or bury myself in music and books.

I don't want to think of the year that is to come.

At least I'll have one source of light in the halls I walk, one true friend who hasn't left yet.

He listens and shares,

advises and cares.

He is my best friend, the only person in school that I can depend on not to hurt me.

I love him, and his girlfriend is perfection,

when we talk it's about real things, our past and how we deal with life.

If only she were still in high school.

That way, I could have two people I trust and love,

I wouldn't feel so alone.