Such Small Hands || ImmortalFox TwoShot

Chapter One.

"I think you saw me confronting my fear, it went up with the bottle, and down with the beer,"

 ---

He was drinking.

Aleks never noticed when his Vodka had gone missing. This was mostly because Eddie lived up to his username, and he was sly enough to ignite the fire within him and have no one notice. Maybe that was why everyone ignored him and no one took the time to ask him a simple, 'How are you?,' and glanced over his eyes that were far away from Denver, Colorado, far too old for his brief age, and lost in a faraway place that no one else could find and the journey left on his mind. 

His internal struggle was open for all the world to see, as it reflected onto his emotions. He was always the upbeat man that everyone loved, and this new form of himself happened to be a stranger to everyone around him, though no one caught on in time. If only they had taken note. Seen sadness, the anger and hopelessness that brought him to his decision.

So the Vodka he consumed tasted strongly and burned as it slipped down his throat. He drowned out his thoughts with quick motions and eyes closed tight. The alcohol soon caused him to lose feeling within himself and it became his master. He wondered how his lover could make a man of his liquor, whereas Eddie was drunk within a few sips. Which was most likely a new world record.

He felt an enthralling sensation when the alcohol in his system caused him to lose grip in reality and the worries and concerns that faded into his mind slowly slipped into darkness. He was rising within their shared kitchen, bottles crashing to the floor, and the feeling of weightlessness brought him to a cloud of oblivion, where he could feel safe.

It was an escape to what had been going on in his life. Aleks thought that he had Eddie as a pawn in his hands, and that he could play the older man like one of his little games. He wanted to seek out something more than the affection that he tried to provide for the Russian, though it never satisfied the man enough. And so Eddie knew the names of all of his lovers and the things that he did when he thought that he wasn't around.

The truth was, he hated when Aleks drinks, and he hated the cigarettes that he breathed. He also hated the men that we went to go see. One was killing Aleks, and the other was killing Eddie. 

Everything, all of the worries and shaking hands and screams within the night, it all disappeared down his throat as he got rid of the last of Aleks' liquor. When he would ask where they went, Eddie's lips would curl at the ends, and he would keep his mouth damned-well shut. 

The substance merely made him feel less and less alive, and that was a good thing. It was truly an absolutely amazing thing in itself, indeed.

He drank the night away until he felt nothing but so sensationally numb.

---

His drinking problem got worse as time flooded.

It became a problem and a monster that he never asked for. The fire inside of his stomach that it once provided became an inner demon that Eddie always carried within him. It only came out at night when he fed it more and drowned his insides in the solvable substances. 

When the curtains were drawn and Eddie knew that he would be solely alone. Then he would pass out on the floor and the demons inside shuttered within their own shadows and made a home inside of the walls of Eddie's mind. 

He had to resist it's tempting urges, although Eddie was spiraling downhill further with each sip and it was something that demanded to be felt. Soon, he knew that he was getting addicted. 

He was addicted to the feeling of the bitter alcohol that slid onto the tip of his tongue, and the feeling of it rushing down his throat and burning his stomach away. He got high on the feeling of it burning at the touch. It was a pain that he was forced into living with, and when he was finished and the corners of his sight were beginning to blackout, he was left with the burning feeling that consumed him and melted at the skin.