It's been four months since Tom and I broke up. Or since Tom broke up with me.
I haven't been the same. Well, that's what others say. I busy myself with work. It helps me not think about it so much. Especially when I see Tom walking around with another girl.
It pains me. Whenever I see the pictures it feels like my heart's being stomped on. He hasn't confirmed that their dating but you can tell. Their relationship is public and not private.
They hold hands while walking. The kiss each other. They laugh and hug. They do all of the things me and Tom didn't.
I can't be mad at him. That's exactly what happened last time with Trevor. He said he was fine with keeping us a secret. Months later I find out he cheated on me. Maybe it's my fault.
I drive guys away. What if Tom cheated on me? What if that's why he broke up with me?
I try to push these thoughts out of my mind. I didn't try hard enough seeing as I broke out into tears.
"Zendaya?" I look up to see Darnell staring at me with worry. He comes over to me and hugs me "I'm so sorry" I continue to cry and he strokes my hair "Shh. You're gonna be fine" "No I'm not. He-He was my everything. Now he's gone and with that other woman"
"She gives him everything he needs. Everything I couldn't do. I'm such a fuck up. I'm worthless"
"Zendaya I want you to know that as long as you live you are not worthless. Not all relationships work out" He sighed "What you and Tom had was special. But just because you and him aren't together doesn't mean you have to stop living. Continue living because you're special on your own"
"But Darnell...what if he cheated on me?" I pull away from him "What if he did what Trevor did?"
He held my hands "Zendaya you and J both know Tom. He would never and will never cheat on you"
"What do you mean 'will'?" He smiled "I have faith. I have faith that you guys will get back together"
I hugged him "Thank you" We pulled away "And I have faith that you will be ok. Not for him but for you. Continue living, Z"
Darnell stood up "And if some days you don't feel like living I'll be here. We can live through the day together"
He walked out of the room. What would I do without him? He's one of the greatest people I've ever met.
I get up and put my phone in my pocket. I walk out of the house and go to a park nearby. I sit on one of the swings.
I take my phone out of my pocket. I go to my camera roll and look at a picture of Tom and me.
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A few tears fall on to my screen
Life Without You is still Life. I'm just living without you by my side. The pain I'm feeling won't subside. I still have to push forward and live. I live by that saying all the time. i Learned It From Experience. ---- Just a little pick me up for the people who don't feel like living anymore..you and me both...just keep moving forward..one day it will be better and so will you 💜💜💜
