A City of Milk and Honey

Visitors

Being single meant alot of things to me. Firstly it meant I can reclaim my youth and all the time I spent in my early twenties being abused by an ungrateful asshole. It also meant that I could try to love again. Maybe this time things will work out between N'Jadaka and I. I thought as I sit in the living room of my new house. I had bought it a few months ago placing the lease under my sisters name. Once the house I once shared with Lawrence was sold to the bank, I left all the bad memories behind. As for N'Jadaka, he was sitting across from me staring at his cards then looking at me.

"What is the matter N'Jadaka?" I ask with a smirk on my face. I knew when he was bluffing with his cards and in no way did he have any aces in his hand. A game of go fish turned into a game of poker and I was very close to cracking up from his facial expressions. "Nothing is the matter Amina. Do you have the three aces or do I have to go fish?" He asked sounding a bit annoyed. Honestly I loved when he showed emotion even when he was upset, It showed that he was human. "Go fish." I say deciding not to give him my aces. "Bullshit. You know damn well you have two aces in your hand." He says and it takes everything in me not to laugh out loud.

Before I could respond a knock at the door broke the peace we had in the house. I get up off the couch taking my cards with me, because if I knew N'Jadaka he would look at them. As I open the door, all color is drained from my face as I see my sister and King T'Challa standing in the doorway. I go down to one knee and put my right hand over my left breast before stating loudly, "My King, Sister Okoye I was not expecting you two." I say loudly hoping that N'Jadaka heard me and went to hide. But who am I kidding bast had never heard my prayers before.

"Rise Amina." T'Challa tells me and I get up looking at the two then inviting them in. "Were you playing cards with someone?" My sister ask and I don't know how to answer them and like I thought my prayers fell on death's ears. "Yea, she was playing with me." N'Jadaka said and at that point I wanted to be buried in some red dirt right about now. Everything else that happened after that happened in a blur. Me trying to stop my sister from killing N'Jadaka, King T'Challa holding me back from trying to stop Okoye, me yelling at Okoye to stop, N'Jadaka doing his best to defend himself. It was a mess and I'm sure the neighbors were confused and scared.

"STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" T'Challa screamed out letting me go and everything froze. "Amina what is going on here? Have you betrayed your own people by having this traitor in your house?" T'Challa says and looks around the room. Taking a deep breath, I try my hardest to compose myself and then went to sit on the couch running my hands over my face. Oh wasn't this just peachy, my anxiety wanted to join the party. I guess N'Jadaka saw it coming because just as I started going into full panic mode, he dropped down in front of me and started whispering that everything was ok. He put his forehead to mine, then put his hand on the center of my chest, looking me in my eyes and then helping me with my breathing.

After a few minutes after I had calmed down some, I pull away from N'Jadaka then nod that I was ok. He nodded back and got off the floor but not moving too far away from me. "Can you please explain what is going on here Amina? Why is he--" Okoye started but was stopped by N'Jadaka. "Can't you see you sister just had a panic attack? Let her compose herself before questioning her or would you like to trigger her again?" He asked placing a hand on my shoulder. Okoye looked at him with hatred but kept quiet then looked over to the quiet King next to her.

"If you would like me to speak on what is going on, please take a sit. The hostility in the room really isn't helping my anxiety." I say softly, but loud enough for them to hear. Once everyone was settled I started to explain. "To explain I would have to start from when I left Wakanda." I say as I lean back into the couch bringing my knees to my chest. "When mother and I left Wakanda, we went to meet up with Zuri or how we knew him here as James. They had a talk about where we would stay and then when we got to this big apartment complex Uncle James led us to this empty apartment. Once we were settled, mother left with Uncle James. I honestly didn't know what was happening but I just went with the flow." I said slowly recalling my childhood. "It wasn't until about a week later that my mother introduced me to Prince N'jobu and N'Jadaka. I honestly was happy to finally have someone my age to play with." I say taking a drink of water.

"A few months after being here, N'Jadaka and I became best friends." I continue looking at the faces of my sister and T'Challa. "Can you please call me Erik? My native name makes me sound like some old man." He says pouting like a child. Rolling my eyes I go on with my story. "Like I was say N'Ja- I mean Erik and I became best friends and my mother was working with Prince N'Jobu on some project. Honestly we were kept out in the dark of what our parents were doing. Anyways, I remember we were playing basketball and I got thirsty and went up to the apartment to get some water. I saw two dora milaje in front of Erik's apartment and knew the king had arrived. I instantly got a bad feeling and ran back to get Erik. By the time I got back downstairs all the kids were looking up at the sky and then we saw the ship disappear."

Flashback

If I had known that this day would have changed our lives forever, I would have stopped Erik from going up to the apartment. But I didn't. When we got upstairs, I felt all the feeling leave my body. There on the floor lay my mother with a bullet wound in her head and Prince N'Jobu with claw marks in his chest. My mind had gone blank as I watched Erik cradle his father's head and cry. I was numb to everything that was going on around me. I didn't even know when the police came or even when they took Erik and I out the building. It was all a blur.

It wasn't until two weeks later that I finally said something. It was when Erik and I were getting moved away from compton. They wanted to separate us and when they did it successfully, it was the beginning of many panic attacks to come. The social workers didn't know what to do. I was curled into a ball until I heard a familiar voice that instantly helped me calm down. When they finally made the decision to keep us together I clung tighter to Erik. From that day forward we were inseparable. In New York we did our best to get out the system. We were always first in class, went to the best high school, Skipped a few grades and then worked once we got to the age of fourteen. We fell in love with each other but after high school Erik and I finally separated from each other and went to different universities. From then on I was on my own. I had lost all contact with him and it hurt a lot.

End Flashback

"That's when I met Lawrence and stated to date him. Everything was good in the beginning. I was eighteen and he was twenty two. We fell in love, graduated and got married. Everything was going good until two years ago when he would hit me." In the corner of my eyes, I see Erik clench his fist and his face drop into a scowl. My sister's face goes into shock along with T'Challa. But I continue. "Last year he got a girlfriend and would tie me up to a chair and force me to watch them be intimate. And if I didn't look he would double the amount of force he used to hit me and make the bitch hit me too." I say angrily. "It wasn't until about a month ago that the side bitch killed him just for the money he left her in the will after he left me nothing." I say hiding the fact that I had a part in Lawrence's death as well. "But the lawyer was suspicious and called the cops where we were interrogated and she slipped up." I say as I looked at the three in the room. "As for why Erik is here," I begin looking at the two in front me. "He was released from prison two weeks ago which I guess is why you're here. He had nowhere else to go and unlike some people I do not abandon my own people regardless of what was done in the past." I say with finality in my voice.

The room falls into silence before T'Challa gets up and walks over to me. He bends down to my level before resting his hand on my knee. "How are you sure you can trust him?" He ask me and I don't know what came over me but I push the King's hand away from me angrily and then stand up. "UNLIKE YOUR FATHER WHO ABANDONED HIM AND I? ALONE WITH NO PARENTS OR FAMILY TO LOOK AFTER US? IT WAS NOT OUR FAULT WE WERE ABANDONED. AND YES IT WAS ERIK'S FAULT THAT HE LET HIS ANGER LEAD HIM TO REVENGE," I yell and then pause before looking at them, "But if your father had taken responsibility for his actions would we be here?" I say softly. Honestly there was more I wanted to say but I decided to hold my tongue. The silence that filled the room was suffocating. I couldn't stay there so I walked to my room slamming the door shut and sitting on the bed. A few minutes later the door opens and in walks my sister.

"Why did you never tell me what happened with mother or even what was happening with your marriage?" She says sadly as she sits next to me. I shake my head as the tears flow out my eyes. I honestly was tired of crying so much. They were unnecessary tears and I hated them. "I already forgave T'Chaka and N'Jobu, mother knew that her mission was dangerous especially if it was coming from the king. I had already accepted it once mother said we were leaving Wakanda." I say softly as I ignore her question about Lawrence. "I just wanna move forward." I say as I get up and hug Okoye. It has been a long time since I had physically given my sister a hug. "I missed you." I say as I take in her scent. She smelled just like home, just like our mother.