Creating a New Neverland

Ch. 10- Perfect Darkness?

I stare at his captivating eyes. This happened to him too? Should I tell him that happened to me too? Would he believe me? He'd just think I was making fun of him, wouldn't he? Why is it this trip is throwing more curve balls at me than the last sixteen years of my life?

I can't tell him.

"Maybe you were just having a memory. Or your brain just interpreted everything differently. I don't know, but you don't sound crazy."

"God. Why do you know what to say?"

"That was right?" I ask, thinking if that was right, what would his reaction to what I wanted to say would have been?

"Like always," he says.

"Never anything I do is right," I laugh a little and roll my eyes.

"Well for me it is," he winks at me.

I just laugh at him. He's just fooling himself that he needs me. He's lying through his teeth. Behind my smile there really is just a coward. A pathetic girl not sure what is even happening anymore. He hasn't seen my well hidden scars, and hasn't gotten through my barrier I keep up to keep myself from collapsing. But he still makes me feel better. His presence lights me up.

"Unfortunately for you, I'm a princess not worth saving. A pathetic princess actually"

"Too late," he joked,"I've climbed the tower, rescued you, killed the dragon, and broke your curse. And I found all that worth it for just a minute with you, my perfect princess."

The word "perfect" stings me a little. No one can be perfect, but somehow in the right light, he seems to make the cut for down right perfect.

"Well, if you feel like that, then why aren't your lips pressed against mine?" I laugh.

"Because I needed to finish talking," he says.

Then he kisses me.

When we break, I laugh. I wanted to laugh during the kiss, at all of his foolish mistakes of falling for me, but that wouldn't have turned out very well. He smirks back at me with his hair all ruffled, falling into the most perfect position. Each strand looks as if it was carefully placed. And it seems right here, right now, there is the best lighting, for he looks down right perfect. With the right lighting just following him around, it seems that maybe there is a true perfect. Not a general perfect for everyone, but a perfect in each different pair of eyes. And he seems to fit my standards. Maybe I fit into his. Does he feel anything less than perfect? Because I sure do.

I toy with the shell bracelet on my wrist. It's a small gesture that has been oddly comforting lately.

"I see you still have my bracelet," Jesse interrupts my thoughts, pointing a finger at my wrist.

"Your bracelet? It's mine. What are you talking about?" I pathetically tease while the memory of when I stole it from his wrist dances across my mind.

"Well, keep it then. My gift," he bows sarcastically then slides his fingers under the bracelet trying to ease it off playfully. I bat as his hand. When he attempts to pull away, he fingers get trapped in the string between the shells and pulls it. His fingers slip and the thin rubberband-like string propels and slaps the top part of my wrist, leaving a stinging red line.

I pinch my face in reaction to the whip of a bracelet. When I un-scrunch my eyes I can see Jesse having a look as if he just socked me in the stomach or slapped me across the face. I huff at him and roll my eyes.

"I'm fine," I say, dragging out the word "fine".

"You sure?" he says with a look of a broken puppy dog. He picks up my wrist so gently an runs his finger down the line. It doesn't hurt anymore, it wasn't more than a mere bracelet.

He brings my wrist toward his lips, while delicately holding my fingers, and whispers,"My lady."

Then he kisses my hand up to the little red line, where he lays his last sweet gesture. From there he lifts his head up and displays his goofiest grin. I throw my head back laughing, causing my long brown hair to dangle down, messing up the parted strands. I lift my head back, still grinning madly. I press my palms against him and interlace my fingers into his. His goofy grin becomes a smirk that made me laugh, but frightened at the same time.

He slides his fingers out of mine and wraps his hands around my wrist pulling me up on top of him. I glare at him, following it with a fit of laughter. I straddle his legs as I lean in for a kiss, cradling his face. The feeling of light stubble brushes past my fingers, making me melt. I kiss him once before a knife pierces through forehead. I bite down on Jesses lip.

"Ow," he says, trying not to shout to avoid hurting my feelings.

"Sorry, my," I didn't get to finish my sentence before the intense pain returns. I shriek, pressing my palm to my forehead hoping it'll ease the pain. I pinch my eyes and scrunch my nose, drawing out the tension in my head.

"Monica!" Jesse yells, trying to get my attention, worry filling his eyes.

He starts to go blurry, the sharp outlines of his cheekbones go fuzzy. Everything begins to fade out from white, bright lights.

I can here him yell for help, but it is too faint for me to make out what he's saying. I've lost strength in my body, now depending on Jesse's strong arms to hold me up. I melt into his hands as the feeling of dreaming, with my eyes open, falls over me. I can hear people bustling around in Jesse's hospital room, but my mind seems to be in a different room. Maybe even in a different hospital. I can see my mom. I'm choking on something. I can't breathe.

"Come on sweetie fight for it!" she cheers me on as if I was in a fighting match.

But apparently I don't fight hard enough because everything becomes dark. But slowly as if someone broke a pen on my forehead and the ink is leaking over me. And eventually the dark ink blocks everything from my view, the dream and reality. I can't hear anything. No bustling people, no shouting people. Not even Jesse. Nothing. Maybe that "dream" was powerful enough to knock me out. Or whatever caused that unbearable pain caused that crazy vision thing, and cause me to pass out.

The darkness is peaceful. There's nothing to see, no fighting parents, no abandoning brothers, no tears, no razors, no blood. No bad experiences. Nothing. But I can't tell whose out there. Is there anyone? Am I alone, or is there someone else here. They can't see me, and that's what I want. I don't want to be noticed. Being with Jesse makes me actually feel like being the center of attention has a good outcomes, no screams from picking the wrong parents side, no lashing words. Just me and him, the world locked up in a box, separated from us. But this feeling is as if I'm the one whose locked inside the box, while the world goes on without me. I want Jesse back. I need him to help me through everything. I like him. Actually, I think I love him.

Light floods my eyes and I intake a sharp breath.

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Author's note:

Hay guys!! I'm SO sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been busy. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Things between Jesse and Monica have been more flirty. Comment your opinions. Luv you all!!

•Cara