Her Happiness Project

[3] Making a Friend

[JADE]

He kissed me.

And I ran.

The super hot player kissed me. I slammed into a bathroom stall and closed my eyes. I refuse to cry so I blinked several time managing to stifle my tears. This was too cliché, I can’t live like this!

The awesomely hot player just kissed me and then I will fall in love with him. And then he’ll hate me and then he’ll suddenly love me too…I sighed. I doubt I will fall in love with the biggest player though…but I guess that’s what they all say.

But that wasn’t my biggest worry. Kissing is disgusting. I cringed as I recalled that night.

It was my 13th birthday. The day I decided to run away from home. Dad usually came home around 11 pm so I slipped out at 10. I started running not knowing where I was heading. That day I was fed up and I just had to go.

I ran until my knees gave in and I collapsed. It was really dark and cold, but to me that was better than staying with dad. I leaned against a wall but just before I could let out a sigh a huge hand grabbed my arm. I snapped open my eyes and saw 5 men, I remember it clear as day.

“What is a cutie cutie doing here, eh?” The man who gabbed my arm asked as he slurred his words. I could distinctively smell the strong vodka and cheap cigars in his breath. I yanked my arm away from him and started to get up, but the men blocked me.

“Let’s…Little girl…I’m-We’re gon’ show you a good time,” another guy slurred grabbing for me again. He caught my waist and picked me up roughly. I screamed and he banged my head against the wall. The blow was so sudden I lost my senses for a moment. I could still remember the pounding pain on my head, I wanted to die. But that wasn’t the worst to come.

The dragged me into a dark alley, taped up my mouth and tied my arms to a post. I struggled but the blow to my head caused me to lose my senses. I remember hearing laughter and random drunken shouts. I cried silently and they ripped off my clothes.

Suddenly a man grabbed my face and roughly rammed his lips onto mine. I could taste the cigarettes. I cringed. His saliva slobbering all over my face as he kissed me.

I cried. That’s all I did. I cried all the way until I became unconscious from their rough thrusts and cold laughter.

When I woke up I could see the sun slowly rising. I knew I didn’t die, god would’ve been too kind to let me die. I shuffled slightly and I felt the intense stab deep inside me. I winced from the pain and the pool of blood I sat in. And cried my tears dry, sitting there in the cold alleyway.

 

It always haunted me, every night and every time someone touched me. I could touch others, but when someone touches me. I hated it.

I hated physical contact. Blake took me by surprise and for a moment I actually thought I enjoyed the kiss and his touch. But that was just an illusion, I know. Even though his kiss was soft and warming, I hated it. I hugged myself. I could still feel the places he’s touched me, burning.

I blinked back more tears. I was kissed by the sex god, shouldn’t I be happy? Why do I feel the past stabbing me?

I trudged out the stall and went to the sink. I splashed the cool water on my face. I looked in the mirror and you could barely tell I cried. There was a very faint pink in my eyes, but that will fade away soon.

Jade, listen up, I told myself. The past is the past and you have moved on. Your life is perfect now, don’t let that shit bother you. Just smile and be happy because you are.