Dear Antoinette

I stared into the sky. I saw none of what she saw in it. She saw endless beauty and adventure, all I could see was a cruel place that took her from me. We had just been approved for marriage after waiting 6 years. Up until then we had been civil partners. I looked at the photo in my hand. We held each other laughing in white wedding dresses. My hair was sleek, straight, and jet black. Hers was wild, curly, and the prettiest shade of light brown. Her dark skin glowed and my somewhat tan skin stood out from her gorgeous flesh. Her wide light green eyes were ablaze with happiness. Her eyes were one of the weirder features she had. It's rare for a such a dark skin tone to have such light eyes. My plain brown eyes were shut, still somehow giving away that I came from the orient. Japan is my homeland forever and always, but she will always be my home. She came from Liberia. She was my everything. I loved art and anything to do with creating while she loved space and the vastness. I could never quite understand, but I encouraged her nonetheless. Her love for space eventually got her into the NASA Astronaut Program. She went on a mission two years ago. I haven't seen her since.

I had went to NASA many times over these past two years, yearning to find her. In that time I had become certified to fly. Since NASA needed more people in order to get to the original crew lost two months after reaching space, they needed more astronauts.  I had signed up hoping that I would be sent to finally retrieve my missing wife. I didn't know how to do anything without her there. I was lost in this sea of human life, without my shining light there to guide my way. I needed her or else I would have nothing else to live for. I was lost in the never-ending cosmos of life and I needed my beacon to see me through it.

NASA finally got the go ahead to send a team to reach the original crew. As I walked onto the catwalk towards the spaceship I could feel the dread of something going wrong. As we all got buckled in the dread began to seep into the very cracks of my soul. As the countdown began I took out our wedding picture. Her happy light green eyes filling me with determination.

We had been in space for a little bit now. Approximately a week. We finally got sight of the spaceship of the original crew. I felt hope and joy flood my system. My beacon was about to come back and soothe the chaos of life.

We tried to message the ship through the communication systems, but they appeared to be down in the other ship. Looking at one another we nodded before joining our spaceship to the original crew.

We finally joined ships. I had wanted to just walk into the ship, but the captain felt that something was wrong. He told us to put on our suits, so we did. Pumping oxygen through our suits we went to greet the crew. All we were met with, was silence.

The original crew were just floating. Their faces were forever frozen in fear. I didn't see Antoinette, my wife, so I allowed hope to well up in my chest. This hope was futile though, because some instinct was telling me that I wouldn't find her alive. I ignored that instinct. The captain looked at the control panels. The oxygen tanks were empty, they had been ruptured leaving nothing for the original crew. We went about looking in the place hoping to find some sort of life, anything. Antoinette was the only thing I wanted to find. I found her.

Antoinette, my wife, my partner, my muse, my life, my beacon was lifeless in a closet. Her wide light green eyes were glazed over, holding none of their usual life or warmth. Her lips were parted as if she had been gasping for breath. I realized we wouldn't be adopting a child together, like we had wanted. I stood there. A paper and pencil floated next to her. Grabbing them, I began to write to her. 

Dear Antoinette,

I could never quite understand your love of space. However I could still love you just the same. You were what I spent a decade falling for and loving. You were and are my muse even as you are now. You,  Antoinette gave me the will to paint. You gave me the will to laugh. You gave me the will to smile. You made me the happiest woman in the world. You are my life. You are my love. I will never find another quite like you Antoinette, but I won't have to. I know you would want me to live and find another to love and to be happy. However Antoinette, you should know by now. I could never live without you. You are all I have in the desolate world now below us. You were, you are everything that a girl could've asked and yet also so much more. You are the best thing to exist in my once meaningless existence. I love you Antoinette. Until you showed up I was nothing and I don't want to return to nothing, so I'm not going back to Earth. I'm staying here with you. My beacon.

Forever Yours,

                 Charlie 

                                           August 6th, 2039

I looked out the window. I understand now why she loved space so much. It's so beautiful in all of its empty glory. I take one last look outside before facing her. I unhook my helmet. A whoosh happens and then I can't breath. I hear my crew calling my name before everything fades to black. Her face the last thing I see. I never did wake up.