To The Stars That Listen|Random/Updates

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Behold, the brilliant things I've said so far this year.

"I don't believe in modern medicine. Yknow what I do believe in? Leeches."

"All I know is that band-aids fix everything- until they don't."

"I said something genius in Botany but I forgot what it was"

"I accidentally turned Waving Through A Window all the way up while looking for my flashlight and I honestly think it's a sign"

"Valentines Day? I think you mean the day before all the chocolate goes on sale."

"Instead of saying birthday we should say 'day i escaped the womb.'"

" I stared at the word cloud in my email trying to decide whether I spelled it wrong or not I'm pretty sure this means I need sleep"

"No, it's Mistew Staw! You're not as fluent in hewwo speak as me!"

"No."

"Please stop trying to shove a cat through my legs."

"And now the makeup's off, my moisturizer is on, and my confidence is gone."

"Someone please turn the wind off"