"I don't believe in modern medicine. Yknow what I do believe in? Leeches."
"All I know is that band-aids fix everything- until they don't."
"I said something genius in Botany but I forgot what it was"
"I accidentally turned Waving Through A Window all the way up while looking for my flashlight and I honestly think it's a sign"
"Valentines Day? I think you mean the day before all the chocolate goes on sale."
"Instead of saying birthday we should say 'day i escaped the womb.'"
" I stared at the word cloud in my email trying to decide whether I spelled it wrong or not I'm pretty sure this means I need sleep"
"No, it's Mistew Staw! You're not as fluent in hewwo speak as me!"
"No."
"Please stop trying to shove a cat through my legs."
"And now the makeup's off, my moisturizer is on, and my confidence is gone."
"Someone please turn the wind off"
"Jeez, Taylor, raking in the hoes"
"I smell like dish soap and disappointment"
"The Void wants chocolate cake"
"I collect books and tea like Bruce Wayne collects orphans"
"Fortnite players are quaking"
"Mm bean soap"
"Hi Lauren I'mgonnadie bye Lauren"
"Invisible Watch? Is it as invisible as your Marvel contract?"
"Alright Mr. Roosevelt, spill that tea"
"*cronch* Mm, those wire frames"
"I remember it like yesterday. Probably because it was yesterday."
"My name is Helen, CHET!"
"Where's my wiimote"
"What if we could like...fold up our legs and put them in our pockets..."
"Omg I have money...I CAN BUY SCOOBY DOO BAND AIDS!!!!"
"Memes about tea? Or memes about tea? "
"I'm ready to fight a whole army of suburban white moms"
"What if I named my kid Tomathan"
YOU ARE READING
To The Stars That Listen|Random/Updates
RandomI whine when I'm inconvenienced slightly
