The Deal (English)

Chapter Twenty Three

Chapter Twenty Three

*Olivia Harper*

I felt the shock of his words go through me, and my entire body froze. I didn’t know what my expression was, but I was sure it wasn’t something positive. I could only stare at him, unable to move and unable to reply. I was still in his arms, still so close to him that I could simply reach up and kiss him again.

I did nothing like that.

Harry looked on at me, awaiting a response. I had none. My mind was whirling and my stomach was falling, and I was looking at him now without really seeing. I had the sudden urge to get away from him.

“You’re…what?” I asked, finally, somehow bringing myself to be able to talk.

“I love you,” he said, and this time, he sounded firmer. His words sent shock waves through every inch of my body again. “I always have, but initially, it was as just a friend. But it’s not like that anymore, Harper. I love you, I’m in love with you. And there’s nothing I can do to change the way I feel. It’s just…there it is.”

“Harry—” I started, but broke off. What was I going to reply to that? What could I say. I didn’t love him, I didn’t feel the same way! Finally, I settled on a question. “Why?”

“What do you mean why?” he asked me. “Are you asking me why I love you?”

“No,” I said, and for some bizarre reason, tears were now stinging the back of my eyes. I had a frightening feeling in the pit of my stomach, something telling me that I was about to lose him within a few moments. “Why are you doing this?”

“I don’t—”

“We had a deal!” I said loudly, pushing at him. Immediately, he staggered backwards, letting go of me. I felt cold the moment his body stopped pressing my own, but my anger was too overwhelming for me to care. “We decided—we started with—”

“I know,” he said. “I know we did, Olivia, but I can’t help it.”

“Yes, you can!” I screamed. “God, Harry, you ruined everything. Why can’t you just let things be? You broke every promise we ever made—”

“So did you!” he argued. “‘Strictly sex’? What about all the times you cried on my shoulder and opened up to me? The things you told me about your mum, your dad, about Dylan—”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t do it because I was in love with you, Harry!” I snapped. “I did because—because you’re my friend—”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he said. “Olivia, we were not supposed to do anything but have sex, we weren’t supposed to be friends, you said it yourself—”

“Yeah, well, you weren’t supposed to fall for me either!”

“Well, I did, okay?” he said, his voice louder now. “I fell for you, and there’s nothing you and I can do about it.

And you know what? Even if I could prevent it, even if I could change the way I feel, I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t change this for anything, Olivia. I love you, and that’s just the way it is.”

“Stop it!” I said. “God, just stop—we can’t do it, Harry. I can’t—”

“Why not?” he asked me and his tone was soft now, his voice shaking. He didn’t sound angry anymore, just sad and hurt. I’d never heard him or seen him like this, and I felt guilty despite my anger. “Why can’t we, Olivia? What are you so scared of?”

I looked away from him, to see that we were gently being lowered down to the ground. The pace was too slow, and I knew it would it take a good while before we were back down again. I wanted it to be quick, I wanted to leave. But when I looked back at Harry, another wave of guilt hit me. He looked slightly desperate for my answer, his bright and characteristically happy green eyes were dull and sad, and we both knew my final answer would not be what he wanted it to be.