A to Z

Nothing Left to Say

A walked into school. He felt different. The familiar feeling of a stud in his ear was gone. His arms were on display, and his hair was so short. He had retouched his hair color the night before in order to get any of the bleach and red dye out of it. It hadn't been super successful, so he had re-dyed his hair his original color - dark brown. A felt very strange. This wasn't who he had been for years, but he felt good after last night. He had given himself a complete makeover. Of course his father hadn't noticed, but it was obvious that the school did.

He was at his locker, getting out his backpack - for once it was filled - and beginning to walk toward his homeroom when he saw Z. She was shocked. It showed in her eyes, her posture, and most of all in the way she let her books slip out of her hands and onto the floor with a splat. A felt a wave of emotions come over him - with love and loathing as the strongest two. This was the girl who had broken his heart every day for a whole month. She was also the girl who helped him find his better self. He loved her and loathed her with all his heart.

A grabbed his stuff and walked by Z, pausing for half a second to whisper in her ear.

"People can change, Z. But you? You haven't proven to be one of them."

A walked away without looking back. Had he bothered to turn, he would've seen Z turn slowly with tears shining in her eyes and then bend down to grab her books. He would have seen her rush through the halls to one of the less used girls restrooms. He might've noticed the tears streaming from her eyes, and the heartbreak visible on her face. But A didn't turn. He was too absorbed in his anger toward her to care where she went or what she did.

* * * * *

Z ran into an almost abandoned bathroom. She still loved A, that was clear as day. She had just lost that momentarily in her quest to wall herself off from all emotions. She sat against the wall as her body shook with sobs. She stayed in there, forgotten, as the first bell rang. Then the bell for second period. Then nutrition. By then, Z had no more tears to shed, and she stood up shakily. As she looked in the foggy mirror above the sink, she saw her makeup streaked down her face, her eyes were red and puffy, and her hair was a mess. She looked terrifying.

Z waited until halfway into third period to look at herself again. She wasn't as terrifying. She took out her makeup from her backpack, and retouched her face. She took out her brush and a hair tie, and fixed her hair into a bun. Then she glanced at herself in the mirror. She looked acceptable. It was time for her to suck it up and deal with her problems.

* * * * *

When A walked into the cafeteria that day, he had to deal with a slew of students coming up to him to ask him questions and most of the room staring up at him with a mixture of wonder, fear, and adoration. He shrugged off the inquisitors, ignored the stares, and went to an empty table near the back. He ate his lunch quietly, and took out A Tale of Two Cities to read. His english teacher had told him that he could do a book report on it in order to raise his grade, so he was even more dedicated to reading it. At some points during lunch, people came up to him. A told them all to "shove off" or that he'd "get back to them later." After a while, A didn't even look up to see who was there. Then someone sat down and, despite his "shove off"'s, stayed sitting there, clearly waiting for him to look up. Finally A relented out of annoyance.

"You know, for someone who claims he's changed, you seem to be doing almost exactly what you used to do," Z said with a calm, in-your-face tone.

A almost dropped his book. He felt his cheeks beginning to burn with a blush, "Zuh-Z?" he checked himself, "Well, what am I doing exactly? And what are you doing here?"

"Oh, you know, you are just sitting, alone, in the back, with no one around you. And I'm here because I had to see you up close and return your warning from earlier."

"Hmm."

"People can change, A, but monsters cannot."

"Oh? And am I the beast? Or are you?"

"I think you know the answer to that question."

"Uh-huh. Why don't you tell me."

"We both are."

A was getting pretty annoyed. He stood up fast and looked down on Z, "Z. Anyone, anything can change. You taught me that. You saw the boy behind the beast. You saw that there was still good in me. You brought it back out! I don't know what I did for you, but you definitely helped me become better. So thank you, Z, for making me a better person." With that, A grabbed his lunch and backpack and turned to go.

Z's face twitched with some unreadable emotion, "A. A, wait."

A looked back at her for a second.

"I'm - I'm sorry, A. I guess I got mad because...," Z hesitated, "Well, I guess it's because I don't want you to change. Because if you can change, it means that I can too. And that means that I'm not trying hard enough to become a better person. Which would just confirm my fears that I am an awful person. I never wanted to be an awful person. So, if you'll accept my apology, then I would like to ask you if you can help me with becoming better. Would you?"

During Z's speech, A's block on his feelings for Z came down. When she finished talking, A put down his bags and looked in her eyes for a solid minute. During that minute many thoughts were going through his head. He was going over what she had done to him, what she had helped him with, what she made him feel, what she made him see in himself. He come to a decision by the end of that minute.

Z was staring into A's eyes, refusing to break eye contact. She thought of how deeply he made her feel and how her walls couldn't seem to keep him out. She couldn't run from him anymore. By the end of a minute, Z had made a decision.

Simultaneously, the two teens moved in towards each other. They had both decided to let down their walls and believe in the lost illusion of their love. The bent towards each other and kissed. For a moment, both their eyes were open. They stared directly into each others eyes, and after a shocked moment, they closed them and deepened their kiss. They were oblivious to the students around them who were marveling at the two baddest kids in school showing affection. Students stared and then averted their eyes. A and Z stayed with each other like this, until they had to come up for air.

When Z pulled away from A, she saw the wide eyed students around her and realized that they had seen everything. She could never go back to how she'd been before. Then she realized that she didn't care. She went right back to A.

A was ecstatic. He realized that his peers were watching about halfway through their kiss, but he didn't care. This was his proof of change - even if it might be a bit doubtful. He was determined to earn everyone's trust that he was changed. He looked at Z when she pulled away and saw her expression change from joy to horror as she realized that everyone had seen. A felt stupid. Then he saw her expression change again, this time to nonchalance. She turned back to him and put her mouth by his ear.

"I don't care," she whispered. She looked back to A and smiled, "Do you?"

A smiled so wide, it should've ripped off of his face, "No. No I don't."

A fell to Z, and Z fell to A. They found each other, and they found themselves. This was who they were, who they wanted to be, and there was no going back. This new and old love passed from one beast to another, from A to Z and Z to A. 

*   FIN   *