What Happened After

Chapter 18

"What, so I'm not allowed to enjoy a good cup of tea?" 

Chapter 18.

           “Awesome, so you’re an expert skier now,” I said to Ruesso, sarcastically, as he slowed to a stop in front of me at the bottom of the mountain, “Looks like my work here is done.” I turned around and headed off for the lift and threw a quick “You’re welcome!” over my shoulder.

          “Wait, wait, wait,” he huffed, coming after me. “First off: I never said I didn’t know how to ski.”

          I scoffed. “Yes you did!”

          “Okay, I did, but I was only trying to test something.”

          “And what was that, might I ask?”

          “I had to be completely sure that you liked me.”

          “Yeah, well now you—“ I caught sight of his slight smirk and my face reddened. “Wait, what? No, no no, you don’t—I don’t…”

          “Alrighty, so if you don’t like me, then why else would you spend your first day here with me, helping me rent my skis, and your second day here with me, teaching me how to use them? Better yet, why did you even invite me here in the first place? Surely you have other friends that could have filled your time more effectively.”

          I sighed, then looked away. “No, I don’t,” I quietly mumbled. At this point I was approaching a bench near the lodge, and took this time to sit down on it. Ruesso looked around like he was trying to decide what to do, then sat down next to me.

          “You don’t have anybody else to talk to? So you’re telling me that your only friends are your parents?” he asked softly.

          “Ruesso, I’m telling you that I had two friends. Had. They’re dead now, so I don’t have them anymore. The only people who ever used to come on this trip were my parents, me, Kaleb, and Lauren. It was really the only time we ever had to ourselves, you know? Before Lauren started dating you, and I hardly ever saw her anymore.”

          Ruesso looked down at the snow and grimaced. “I’m sorry I took her away from you,” he said. “I didn’t mean to, honest. It’s just that—I don’t know, she got me, you know? She didn’t judge me, or my family, the way my friends did. And she was so easy to talk to…I had to keep her. I loved her, Rayn, you have to know that. I don’t ever want you to think that I didn’t love Lauren because she was my everything. When she died—when that baby died—it killed me, too. I know that you think we have to put up this big strong front, acting as if their deaths didn’t bother us, but I know exactly how you feel. You know that, okay? They were my friends too, and I miss them just as much as you do. I understand what you’re going through, and I really don’t want to be a huge dick, especially in this situation, but you have to move on. Not completely—I could never ask you to do that. I couldn’t even do that myself—but you have to talk to someone. You keep all these emotions bottled up inside, and you’re gonna explode and no one’s gonna know why, because you’ve seemed totally fine to everyone all this time. I miss them too, Rayn. I loved them too. I want to talk to you about this, okay? So you don’t explode.”

          I was staring at the ground, close to tears, and Ruesso noticed and reached out for my hand. He pulled it into his lap and began tracing circles over it with his thumb. I moved my head into the crook of his neck and he placed his other hand around my back, moving in to shush me.

          “Shhh,” he said. “You’re fine, Rainbow. Do you wanna ski a couple more runs, or do you want to go back up to the cabin? I’m fine either way.”