What Happened After

Chapter 31

Chapter 31

          Ruesso tucked a strand of hair behind my ear that had fallen loose from my ponytail and stared at my face. Not just my eyes, but all over. He looked down at my mouth, my neck, focused in on the freckles spattered across my nose, and twirled a strand of hair around his finger, studying it intently.

          “You’re sure you’re okay with this?” he asked, narrowing his eyes slightly. He looked concerned for my wellbeing, but at the same time he looked as if he would die if I told him no.

          After I nodded, he let out a sigh of relief and shot toward me. It wasn’t slow or romantic like the movies make it seem. It was as if he couldn’t move fast enough, and I was all in. Ruesso placed his hands on either side of my neck, thumbs brushing my cheeks, and captured my lips with his own. At first I stayed completely still, because while I was expecting the kiss and appreciated his need for consent from me, the speed and intensity with which it came threw me off a bit. After a few seconds, I melted into it, so to speak, and let my mouth move with his. He set out a breathy sigh, seemingly relieved I wanted this as much as he did, and moved even closer. He moved one of his hands from my face and down my arm, grabbing it lightly and positioning it up and around his shoulder.

          With this newfound position, Ruesso angled his body more towards me so that he was facing me straight on, and I pulled my face back a little. He opened his eyes and looked back at me, eyes questioning. Without breaking eye contact, I stood up from my chair and moved to sit on his lap. He groaned and placed his hands behind my back, locking me in, with my arms around his neck. There wasn’t anything left to be shy about—I was kissing him with abandon, and I knew that he was so relieved I hadn’t rejected him.

          Eventually, breathing became too difficult and feat and at the same time, we both seemed to realize that we were in a public sandwich shop where a customer could walk in at any moment. It was highly unlikely, but since we were actually open, I supposed it could happen, for once.

          We broke apart and I moved awkwardly off his lap, moving to sit on the table with my feet on the seat of my chair. I smiled slightly and looked down at my feet, but couldn’t bring myself to look at him. Not just yet.

          When I finally worked up the courage to glance in his direction, I was surprised that Ruesso’s face didn’t hold the same dazed expression as my own, but rather, a hard expression, staring straight at the window. He seemed to be concentrating really hard on something, and I was afraid to ask him what it was. Instead, I gingerly got up from the table and walked over to my place behind the counter, wiping down a few pieces of equipment and sorting ingredients from the stock shipment earlier in the day. When I looked back over to Ruesso, he had his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands, and my heart sank.

          I couldn’t stay away from him any longer, so I quietly moved back to the center of the shop and sat in my original chair, facing him. Reaching out, I moved his hands away from his face and held them in my own, searching his face for answers. “Rue,” I whispered. “Rue, what’s wrong?”

          He remained with his head down, so I had to ask. “Hey, was it me? Did I do something wrong? Ruesso, I promise, if you just tell me what I did, I’ll walk away and leave you alone, I don’t want to hurt you…”

          His eyes shot up from the ground to my face, and then went wide. “No no no, that’s not—Rayn, I’m so sorry, that’s not what happened, you didn’t do anything wrong. No, sweetheart, look at me.”

          At the surprising use of the pet name, I looked back at him, confused, and he reached up to place his hands on either side of my face again. “You’re not—Jesus, don’t ever think there’s anything wrong with you because there isn’t. I’m just overthinking a ton of things and there’s a couple things I should actually probably tell you before I let myself do that again. Because Rainbow, I really want to.”