bubble gum baby

but it's obvious I wanted to..

I waited nervously at my locker, Billie was playing with something on her phone, paying me no mind.
typical.
literally calm down, I told myself.
what happened to that confidence I had earlier?
With one last look in my locker mirror, I slammed the door shut, revealing a grinning finn who must've been hiding behind it.
"You're aggressive." He smirked.
"And you're a cliche" I retorted, feeling my attitude boil back into my blood stream.
"Hey, I was joking," He approached, calmer and charismatic.
"me too," I giggled. I fucking giggled. Knitting my eyebrows in disgust, I realized what this hideous infatuation was doing to me.
He smiled at me, and reached out to grab a strand of my hair.
Twirling it in his fingers, he asked "What's your curfew?"
"Midnight by law. Nine by my mother, but I'm fine with any time up until
six am." I whispered, feeling myself leaning towards him more. as if he was some kind of magnet.
"You're cute clairo," He smiled. "I'll drive you to my place, yeah? My shithead parents are working late tonight. All we have to worry about is my idiot siblings." He laughed, before leaning in so that his chin pressed against my jaw, his lips touching my ear. "But we'll be quiet. Won't we, love?"
Goosebumps danced on my arms, and blood rushed into my cheeks.
He looked into my eyes, questioning.
I bit my lip and nodded.
Fuck it
If I was really gonna be a burnout, getting with Finn Wolfhard seemed like a good plan.
I turned around to see Billie staring in awe, her eyes a mixture of confusion and anger.
"Hey Billz, I'm going to go with Finn," I grinned, throwing a thumb back at him, "I'll catch you tomorrow though."

"But we were going to watch 'Back to the future' At my house, remember? I got instant pop and candy." She pouted, pleading me to stay.
"Another time, Billie!" I tried. "See you soon, love you."

Finn snaked an arm around my shoulder. pulling me through the halls nonchalantly.
I felt everyone's eyes on us. Why was highschools top swooner with another decent loner.
God even I don't fucking know what I was doing, clinging onto Finns arm like some kind of try hard. Oh well though. Oh fucking well.

"Well here we are," Finn grumbled. "Me casa is su casa or whatever. But my house isn't even much so uhh we'll be tight on space."
I had no clue what he was talking about. The house was huge compared to my one and a half bedroom apartment.
He pulled the door open, letting me go in first.
The house was clad of white. white walls, white ceiling, white stained wood. Pops of color was displayed through expensive paintings and toys on the floor.
Finn kicked a toy out of the way.
"My siblings are in there," He gestured through a door. "Wait here"
He leaned into the door containing his siblings.
"I've got a girl over, you know what that means shitheads. Don't knock don't talk and most importantly. don't fucking kill each other."
I've got a girl over? The way he said it sent a wave of worry over me. how many girls had he been with?
I mean, knowing finn, a lot.
people swooned over him for a reason.
He walked back to me, and took my hand in his.
"I guess my room is a good place to... study," He winked.
"Yea, you know thanks for helping me finn. I genuinely needed you." I assured him, as we walked up the honey colored stairs.
"I think we need each other," He whispered, almost too low to hear.

"So this is my room," He laughed nervously. pushing a door open, he revealed a suprisingly neat room. Posters lined the walls, lights hung in the corners. a guitar rested by his bed, and books were stacked on a glass desk.
"Wow," I murmered picking up a CD laying on his nightstand. "Ani DiFranco, huh. Guess you got an eye for the emotional stuff."
"Oh haha that was my mom's, " He said nervously.
"Mmmm, okay emo boy," I taunted, waving the CD at him.
"Okay she's got good songs," He admitted, walking towards me with a grin. "I guess the music speaks to me when I have no one to talk to." He whispered, standing an inch from my face.

in a perfect world, where I was happy and self confident, I would've kissed him.  I would've kissed him and we would've hit a home run.

the world is not fucking perfect though. trust me on this.

"So um do you want to start on science?" I asked, breaking the immediate tension, but not all of it.

"Yeah science." He murmered, sounding dissapointed. "Science."

♡♡♡♡
"So then you do what?" I asked, playing with the pencil eraser.

"You calculate the electrons," He whispered, pointing to a chart.
"the electrons?"
"yea, them. So Clairo tell me about myself," Finn said, putting the textbook off of our laps.
"Me? Well I'm about as idiosyncratic as they come. I had a conventional sob story growing up. Father dipped the crib after abusing my mom and realizing I was a lot of fucking work," I laughed sadly, playing with my thumbs. "My mom picked up the full time shifts at the dollar theater. hell she's probably there now. I'd like to think there was a point where she loved me. she probably did, when someone was helping raise me. Now though, she relys on heavy Marijuana in order to even get through a single conversation with me. her own daughter. what a joke. Now, I'm just pushing through this highschool 'dream' and waiting to work at a shitty place for shitty money to live my shitty life only to kill myself before forty because face it, life is pointless."
it felt good to let him in. I didn't even know if I was gonna let him stay, but now, right now, it felt good for someone to know it all.
I looked up to see him merely inches from me.
"You're crying," He whispered.
I reached up to feel my cheeks, which were wet with bittersweet tears.
"I guess I am," I laughed. I hadn't even noticed. "I don't even know why though. I just need something to get my mind off of things. someone to help."
clearly I was talking about him. instead of waiting for him to make the move, I reached my hands to his neck, letting my fingers interlock around him.
with a short inhale, I leaned into him. letting my lips fall into his.
he immediately leaned into back into me. he pushed me back onto his pillows.
we pulled away for a split second.
"I can be that person," He mumbled, before pushing himself onto me again.
this time he reached his hands up my sweater, pulling my hoodie off, leaving me exposed in a lace bralette.
for a second I convinced myself I needed sex in order to let myself exhale.

God I'm fucking dumb.

He slipped his mouth into my neck. It felt like a suction cup, pulling my body into his. he pulled himself off with a pop. He went back down again, but I sat up into a sitting position, causing him to sit up too.

"Was that too much?" He asked quickly. "did I hurt you?"

"No finn," I said softly, reaching up to rub the spot he claimed on my neck. "I'm fine, just... not yet."
Looking out of the window, I realized the time.
"I have to go finn," I murmered, leaning in to kiss his cheek.
"I though your curfew didn't matter," He said in such a sad tone, I genuinely felt bad.

"Text me Wolfhard," I smiled, scribbling my number on a notepad.
pulling my hoodie on, I walked out, shutting the door behind me.

side note- y'all I'm gonna be an extra in stranger things season three!!!!!!!!!