BloodShed (Killugon)

Chapter 9- I Can't

Hi!
I'm back from France and ready to roll!
Now get to reading soldiers! (I'm just gonna call you all soldiers from now on)

Was I too lazy to add color to the picture? No! I just thought it looked nice like this!

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Killua pov:

I went back home after talking to my new friend, Gon. My heart was beating really fast, probably because I was scared of my family killing him.

I can't believe I actually got a friend!

I got to my house and opened the door only to be greeted by--

"KILLUA! I SENT ILLUMI TO CALL YOU AT NOON! WHY ARE YOU HERE ONLY AT SUNSET?!"

--Mom...

"Sorry sorry, I got a bit delayed.. What did you call me for?"

"Actually. Kil, before I get to that--"

The atmosphere changed. Instead of (some kind of) silliness, it was frightening.

"Illumi told me you were with some kid in the street. And you were talking to him, being friendly.
You know you don't need friends right?"

I stayed silent, praying they won't hurn Gon.

"You're an assassin. Right now, you need to focus all your time on your training, and your missions. You don't have time for friends."

I just stared at her as she was talking. Though it's true that I have to get stronger through training, I never wished to get get stronger in the first place.

"Plus, if you get close to some random kid, and then they accidentally find out about you, wouldn't you say they would, at least be, frightened?"

She is right.

"Besides, you've only just learned nen yesterday. You need to focus on first mastering the basics before you get distracted by anything"

When mom gives me these speeches, she never actually cares for me, but she totally makes it sound so...

"Lastly, you were trained as an assassin. Only learning how to kill.. You will most likely kill whoever you get close to anyways.. What's the point?"

She always makes her speeches sound so formal.

"Which is why, we will not let ANYONE get close to you. If they do, we will kill them. That is all"

Honestly, much as I hate to admit it, she is totally right.

I can't get close to Gon.

He will be scared of me, and if my family won't kill him, I will..

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After that little talk I had with mom, she explained that she called me to train, but since it was getting late we'll do that tommorrow at noon.

I went to my room and layed on the bed.

God dammit!

I can't stay friends with him..

A couple hours past and I couldn't sleep.....

What a surprise!

As I stared at the ceiling I wondered

What can Gon ever tell me that can make me earn his trust? And tell him about me..

Without realizing, I got really sleepy. I slowly closed my eyes and fell asleep.