please be mine.

A fresh start.

my first year of high school was garbage. i was made fun of, i had only one friend, and drama was the only thing filling the air. from last year i see a change in me. i got a hair cut and lost weight, it was tough to get where i am now but at least i won't be made fun of.
my friend- or best friend carlos is the only guy that has stayed by my side, since the 6th grade to be exact. i remember how i first met him. he was a trouble maker and someone threw food at one of the supervisors in the cafeteria. the supervisor thought it was him and i knew it was wrong so i stood up and pointed to the boy who really did it, the lady apologized to carlos and took the other boy away. all carlos said was "thanks, i owe you a lot." and ever since then he was my best friend. we did almost everything together.
but nothing really changed except he has friends and i don't, but maybe it will change. maybe i'll be happy. just maybe.
but anyway it's time to get up, i put on my plain yellow sweater and black cuffed jeans, with my sushi socks, then i put on my slightly dirty checkered vans. i brush my hair until the brush slides smoothly though my hair. i go to the bathroom and brush my teeth and put some perfume on. i walk downstairs and say hello to my mom as always.
my mom knows something is wrong but just doesn't want to ask, she walked in on me crying so hard my nose was bleeding. she comforted me and held me close and whispered it was going to be okay. she tries to ask if i'm depressed but i ignore the question or doge it with another question. my mom is a nice lady, she is a good single parent. my dad isn't such a great guy, he moved back to korea when i was three. but my mom has always lived in america and she didn't want to go with him because he was abusive and because this is the only place she has known.
anyway i grab a banana and kiss her cheek, "goodbye mom love you, i'll be home after school." she smiles "i love you too, see you then ella." i grab my bag and walk out the door then shut it behind me. i breathe in the warm end of summer air, the sun comforts me telling me it will be a beautiful day. i breathe out and start walking, at the end of my street i throw the banana into the empty road, i don't like bananas but it was the only thing i saw.
i approach carlos's house and knock on the door, he opens it and greets me with a smile, "hey ella, you okay?" i nod, "yeah, kinda nervous though." he hugs me tight, "aw cheer up hunny! you have nothing to worry about." i smile and we start walking.
carlos is weird, he acts like a dad. he protects me a lot and i'm not sure why really. he is about 6'3 and has curly black hair, styled like a fuck boy, but carlos isn't a fuck boy, he cares so much about people's feelings and whenever he would have a girlfriend he treated them like a queen, but they didn't see how great he was inside, i am the only person who has ever seen him cry, not even his own family has seen him cry, only since he was about ten then he stopped crying around then. his skin is almost the shade of carmel but a tad bit darker, but it suites him well.
but besides all that no girl has seen the true him. he is a special guy. "ella, hey wanna walk home with me and my friends? can they join us?" i nod, "yeah i suppose that will be alright." what could go wrong. all of his friends seem fun from all the stories he tells, i don't think i should worry.
we walk in through the giant school doors and i just stare at the room full of people.
our school is huge, we have three floors and all of them are almost full of people at times. but it's okay because i blend in pretty well. i am a little short but now since i lost weight i'm petite so this whole fitting in thing should be a slice of pie. or i hope so? whatever, me and carlos both get out our schedules him and i have almost every class together! that's good because last year we had absolutely no classes together, and it was hell because no one was there to help me when i needed it most. but it's okay i guess.
we look for our class and three boys are already getting in trouble for play fighting. "aw come on pal," one of the boys say trying to appear charismatic, "get it, your a princ-a-pal, you're my pal!" the dean stares at him and motions his hands to go to the office, the student follows his orders. "what a loser, right?" carlos says jokingly, "it's just the first day!" he laughs and i let out a small smile. he pats my head and we continue to our class.
we walk in and carlos sees his two friends, "hey man!" he runs up to one of them and gives a manly hug, "woah hey man, i haven't seen you all summer!" the boy says to carlos, i just go and find a seat, i can tell that i don't fit in-
my thoughts are interrupted as someone grabs my hoodie, i turn and is just carlos, he smiles, "hey what are you doing?! meet my friends!" i smile nervously.
one of the boys grabs my hand and kisses it, "m'lady," carlos smacks him on the head playfully, "dude for real come on." the boy laughs, "hello, i'm lucas, luke for short." i smile, "i'm ella," i stay faintly, he smiles and pats my hand, the one he is still holding. "nice to meet you." he lets my hand go and i nod.
the other boy looks at me and he has a smirk on his face, "james." i smile, "ella." he nods, "nice to meet you." i nod back.
the boys talk among themselves and i stand next to carlos. meeting new people has always been a struggle for me, i always get very quiet and all kinds of nervous. it's weird. but these guys are nice, they seem like good people but i shouldn't trust them so quick. i get bored and eventually walk over to the desk i was going to sit at before carlos stopped me.
but i'm stopped again, this time someone grabbed my book bag, i turn around and my heart drops to my stomach.
"long time no see, how was your summer?" it's selena. she was the one that made fun of me all last year. i stand and look at her, she pats my stomach, "i see you lost a few pounds, and your hair," her long acrylic nails run through my hair. it gives me goosebumps. she smiles, "your hair looks great!" i smile softly, but then she laughs. "are you kidding? honey lose a couple more pounds then we will talk." she then starts downing my appearance and my personality. even more, with every word i feel a brick get placed on my chest. my throat itches with tears that i'm holding back. then she pulls my book bag downward, and i stumble back then fall. i am on the floor, about to drown in my tears when this boy grabs her by the hair, "what's your problem." she is startled, "what the fuck?! let me go! i was just messing around but then she fell!" he smirks, "aw, well i'm just messing around too!" he pushes her forward, "don't fuck with people or i'll be back for you." i stare at the boy. him. he is noah, the guy i liked since 7th grade. selena grabs her bag and goes to find a seat far from mine, she mutters to her friends, "i should tell the dean he harassed me!"

"thanks man," carlos says to him ignoring me on the floor, carlos you idiot, "no problem." then they talk, supposedly they are friends?! how did i not know this?!
noah has hair like carlos. black and curly, but he is pale and has the deepest blue eyes you'll ever see. he has always been a very quiet person and super mysterious and that's what attracts me about him. he is clever and witty from what i see. i always watch from afar because i'm too scared to talk to anyone besides carlos.
noah holds out his hand, "you need help?" i smile and take his hand. "t-thanks." i say quietly, he nods and smiles, carlos winks at me and i ignore it. i walk away to my seat. it's only two minutes till class starts. i unpack my things from my bag. i lie my head down then i begin to doodle with my favorite black pen. someone sits next to me and i glance over to see pale skin, i look up and see noah's face looking at mine. i blush, "s-sorry." "for what?" i shake my head, "i dunno, sorry for looking at you." he chuckles, "you're super sweet, ella."
how does he know my name?! does he remember me?! i get a swarm of butterfly's in my stomach and my cheeks fill with warmth. what's this feeling? why am i so excited?
is this a good fresh start?