please be mine.

the pool.

before i new it the school week ended. it's now friday afternoon and we are all walking home, "hey ella, still coming to the party?" carlos says grabbing my shoulder, "yeah i suppose so." i smile nervously. he looks at me suspicious, "ella, for real, what's up?" he pulls me a few steps behind the group so it's just us talking. "i-i dunno.. it's my first party. i've only ever been to your birthday party's and it's just your family." carlos smiles, "ella, oh ella. i'm here for you, don't be scared," he pulls me in for a hug, "i'm here ella! my young one." i sigh, "you're a year older." he laughs, "yes. indeed i am. c'mon for real though. you will have fun! it will be great." i shrug, "well, what should i wear?" "something sweet, but sexy!" i blush and shake my head, "n-no," he smiles, "yes! noah likes the innocent ones." he raises his eyebrows and chuckles. i blush hard and look away hoping he doesn't notice, "ella," noah says stopping his skate board, "are you still coming to the party?" i nod, "cool, i'll pick you and carlos up in my van, okay?" i smile and nod, he pats my back gently, i'll see you then, he smiles and winks, "wait up james!" he says getting back on his skate board.
i'm so excited yet so scared, god what do i do?! what do i wear?! and why am i so nervous?!
eventually we reach my house and they all shout, "bye ella! see you later! byee!" i open my door and my mom looks like she is getting ready lipstick in one hand and a drink in the other, "hey ella, how was school?" my mom greets me at the door, i take off my shoes and shrug, "eh, same as always, boring." she smiles, "where are you going?" i ask, "i have a little end of summer trip with my friends! i'll be back tomorrow evening, if you're going to that party be home at 3:00 am at the latest. no later." i smile, "alright, i might be home around like 1:00 maybe." my mom smiles at me, she hugs me and kisses my cheek, "i love you so much ella, you are growing so fast. you are beautiful." i smile and tear up, just a little, "thanks mom." she pulls me in for a hug and holds me tight, i hold her as tight as i can.
"anyway ella my love, i have to go now, take your keys with you and don't lose them please! and for crying out loud answer my texts!" i nod and wave her goodbye, "i love you, mom." she looks at me and smiles, "i love you more, ella."
a few hours pass and i start getting ready, i take a shower, i look in the bathroom mirror. i see the scars on my upper arm and shoulder. i hate my scars. i used to hurt myself, but no one knows, not even carlos. i don't like talking about it or thinking about it. i don't do it a lot anymore but sometimes i break and do it.. i feel shame shiver down my spine, if my mom sees this she will be so disappointed.
whatever that was the past. i get dressed, i put on a black turtle neck and a dark green skirt, with tights. i put on my vans and start doing my hair, i brush my hair out and dry it, and then curl my bangs inward to make them look nicer.
i wait for carlos to come over, then i finally hear a knock at the door, i walk over and open it, "hey ella- WOAAAH, you look GREAT!" i blush, "really?" he smiles big, "yes! noah is gonna fall in love tonight!" i shake my head, "just come in." carlos walks in, "MOM IM HOME-" "mom isn't home, she is out." "sorry! anyway let's watch TV while we wait."
and we did just that for about twenty minutes until i hear another knock. i jump up and open the door, "hey ella." it's noah. he looks amazing, the way his pale skin and bright blue eyes glow in the dark, the light from the inside of my house hits his face perfectly. he is so cute.
"ready?"  "yes of course," i say smiling, "c'mon guys let's party!" carlos says with joy filling everyone's ears.
we all hop into noah's black mini van, inside luis, luke, adam, and james, are waiting. i sit between carlos and luke,
"just a warning, luke is already tipsy so don't believe a lot of what he says." noah says looking back at me in the rear view mirror. i nod and glance over at luke, "hey, you look nice." luke says smiling,
yeah he is pretty wasted if he is telling me i look nice, "thanks." i reply smiling.

we eventually arrive and all i hear is blaring music and kids laughing and screaming. this is going to be hell for me.
"well i'm gonna go to the food bar, have fun, take care of her noah!" carlos runs off and the rest of the boys do the same except noah.
"wanna get a drink?" i nod and we walk inside, as soon as i walk in i see people passing a blunt around and two girls shoving their tongues down each other's throats. i walk close to noah, he smells sweet, yet manly. his black long sleeve sweater looks so soft, i wish i could hug him. "want me to make it?" i shake my head, "i-i got it." i say nervously, i've never had a alcoholic drink ever! it's kind of exciting that I can share this moment with noah. i poor half with vodka and half with a soda. i mix it around and take a sip, "it's good." i say smiling giving the thumbs up, "c'mon let's go outside." i nod and we both walk outside.
me and noah sit down in the soft grass, "hey ella," noah says looking at me, once i look it him i feel butterflies, he looks deep into my eyes, even though it's dark, his eyes manage to still glisten.
"yes?" he smiles, "you look really pretty tonight. you always have looked pretty." i smile and giggle, "did carlos tell you to say that?" noah shakes his head, "no actually. i mean it, you're beautiful." "t-thanks noah, you have always been attractive... not only because of your looks, but because of your personality and how kind and protective you are." my face glows a bright red and i feel my ears get hotter and hotter every breath i take after i say that sentence, what the hell did i just say?! well i mean it's a compliment? i don't know what i just said!
noah smiles, his smiles glows a different glow, like it's brighter then before, his eyes squint and his cheeks turn light pink. his ears get a red hot and he covers his mouth with his hand.
"thanks, no one has ever said that before." he replies smiling brightly. he is so adorable, just him being happy makes my body feel like i'm floating.
after a couple of drinks and conversations, i start to feel weird. my body can't stand straight and i always find myself holding noah's arm to stand upright, my tongue is numb and the words can't come out of my mouth clearly.
my head feels fuzzy, "ella?" i look up at noah, he looks conserned, "you alright?" i nod my head and giggle, i feel my cheeks get warmer and my body gets hotter, we both sit down on the couch and i watch everyone around me dance and sing, i wanna do that.
i get up on my feet, i stumble over to everyone and start to dance, i've never danced before, "ella!" noah gets up and walks over, i grab his arm and dance with him, he laughs and follows my movements, i then notice myself dancing up on him, i couldn't stop myself, the feeling i got when he grabbed my hips and pulled me closer felt so good.
after a few songs he asked me to come with him and i did. we found luke, luis, carlos, james, and adam, then we went out back where the pools was, no one even bothered to come outside to the pool so we were alone.
"hun, if you don't want to do this it's okay, i'll wait with you." carlos says reassuring me that i don't have to take my clothes off.
"no i'm fine." i say smiling, everyone starts stripping down to their underwear and i do the same.
carlos looks at me with an expression of sadness, "what?" i say looking confused, "your arms... what happened?" i look at my shoulders and shake my head, "my old cat left some scars and i fell off my bike, i'm fine." i smile and hug him, then i walk to the pool with noah, noah also sees my arms, "are you okay?" he says looking at me then at my arms, "yeah it was my cat and my bike, i fell of it." i smile and give him a reassuring "i'm fine." face. he believes it and smiles.
"guys come on!" luke says jumping in, i'm already tipsy so i don't know if this is a good idea, but i'm already in my underwear so why not. i feel carlos grab my hand and we look at each other, "jump on three! one...two...THREE!" me and carlos run and jump as high as we can and smack into the water. i feel all the weight lift off my shoulders and the water greet me with care and kindness, i stay under for a little longer. it's warm, but not too warm. the kind of warm that comforts you, like when someone hugs you. it feels just like a giant hug.
flash back:
"okay ella! jump on the count of three! one...two...three!" carlos says grabbing my hand and pulling me in the pool, we fall and kick up for air, we look at each other and laugh. "ella, you're a good friend. i love you." "i love you too, carlos."
carlos pulls me up from the water, "ella are you okay?!" i laugh shaking my head insisting everything is okay.
i notice noah sitting at the edge of the pool with his feet in the water, i swim over and stand in the pool beside him, "coming in?" i ask, "no, maybe not." he laughs. "come on, i did it for you guys, do it for me." at this moment i can't control the words that come out of my mouth. he nods his head and grins, "okay fine." he steps into the water and stands beside me, "ella, you're a good friend." i smile, "you are too." i reply, i feel myself smiling ear to ear, he grabs my hips and pulls me a little closer. i blush and we look eye to eye, he looks at me like i look at pizza, he looks ready to eat.
he pulls me in closer.
closer.
closer.