one: flaws

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She knows she's flawed
It's been embedded in her mind, in her system.
But she's not going to cry as to why she's flawed, because everyone clearly is.
But she cries why the world won't accept her flaws


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Before the mirror she stood, the tears that brimmed in her eyes were too painful to hold back. For before her she witnessed with her eyes the flawed creation that she was.

Why did the rejection sting so much?

The mirror which not only held her reflection and yet failed to show truth in society's words.

Wasn't society always right?

The goths that sat at the bleachers every break time were weird, and so were the nerds who eat lunch with a book in their hand.

But how was she weird... How did she gain that title?

Weirdo, witch, slut, crybaby, teacher's pet

All the hurtful labels she was given and given without reason. Given with no concern for her emotions.

Why was the world so cruel? Why do they find glee in her tears? Why do they find comedy in her misery?

Surely her brown hair did not comply with the freckles that decorated her cheeks, which her friends surprisingly found cute.

Surely her dull green eyes did not compliment her small pink lips but wasn't she worth the picture still?

Standing before the mirror, scrutinizing every flaw the way society did. She once had a mentality of her own, her own pair of eyes to see herself. But that was a long time ago.

Society took it upon itself to strip that away from her and hand her a pair of glasses to see things the way they did.

Scrutinizing and judging every imperfection, grading herself according to society's standard of perfection. A standard she could never meet.

Just staring at the girl in the mirror makes her wonder how her life would be if she were...different. One of the many limitations that come with being human, wondering.. You can only wonder how life would be instead of actually being different.

She doesn't stare at herself each morning just to entertain illusions of herself, she did it hoping for one day God to see where he went wrong and change her, fix her.

After a huge sigh, Maya exits her room grabs her bag and exits the house without eating. She needs to lose weight anyway.

She exits the house and soaks in the beauty of the state her neighbourhood looks in the early morning. The sun's first rays of sunlight causing certain areas of the hood to shimmer, glittering on the dew that has been gathered on tree leaves. She walks past her neighbourhood and watches the morning mist distort her vision but she doesn't mind. She knows the road very well.

She walks to school but halts for a few minutes to watch the sun's radiance dance and glimmer on the river. The river has always been her favourite place. It gives her a chance to think, a chance to reflect on things. She even considers the river as her affinity, as a friend she can even relate to it.

She continues her walk and sees her school in the distance. The sight of school sends so many sensations across her heart but she ignores them all and walks on.

She enters her school gates and walks to her locker through the masses of the crowded hallways. She's getting her books out of her locker when she's greeted with a hug from behind.

"Maya!!" She turns around to see Emily. Emily Sparks, the class sweetheart. She and Maya are competitors for first place in grade ten but at the same time are friends. Sadly the same can't be said for the other classmates who wanted that position.

Emily comes from a broken home. A workaholic mother, a violent father and a jackass of a brother. But Emily's strength to pull off a perfect smile and give the world an image to think of her without knowing of her family, is a skill Maya envies.

To be able to imprint the image that you want people to think off while you hide the real you who you don't want the world to see.

Maya returns the hug and gives Emily a painted smile. Maya appreciates Emily's sweet gestures of pulling her out of isolation but if she wants to succeed she has to be able to know which smiles are genuine and which ones are not.

"How are you?"

"I'm doing okay, and you?"

"Not so good." Maya answers truthfully but answers with a smile. Emily gives her a look of disbelief and gives Maya a hug that's enough to melt away the ice caps that have formed around Maya's heart. Emily pulls away and looks Maya in the eyes and says with the sincerest voice.

"You know you can talk to me whenever you need me." Her words are enough to warm Maya's heart but that isn't enough.

"There'll be no need for that because I have nothing to talk about." Maya answers. Many would disagree upon knowing the things that Maya deals with but Maya's being honest. She knows that her inferiority in the books of others gives her reasons enough to not vent out any of her feelings because they do not matter.

Emily leaves and Maya turns back to get more of her books when she feels a hand tap on her shoulder.

"Emily, there's really no need-" her voice cuts of when she sees the person standing in front of her. Like all the girls, she too is captivated by his hazel brown eyes with flecks of a golden star. She's rendered speechless.

"Hey," He greets, putting his hands in his jean pockets. His Playboy cologne emanating from him and his beautifully structured face is pleasing to the eye. But it doesn't faze Maya. She's actually rendered speechless by the fact that the boy in front of her is actually talking to her..or was he not.

Maya turns around under the impression that he's speaking to someone behind her and notices that people are watching her, probably waiting for her to embarrass herself.

Every school has that one boy who is known for his ridiculously good looks, in this case his name is Jason Hart. Others go as far as claiming him to be a being of perfection, but Maya doesn't believe it. Perfection is a mere illusion that puts us in the state of mind that there is a certain stage whereby something is believed to be of no flaws. But in the society we reside in that is not possible. Society is evil and one way or another, it taints us and takes away our purity, leaving it's black handprints on the canvases of our beings.

Maya grabs her books and hugs them towards her chest, takes a deep breathe before she turns her attention back to Jason.

Hi.

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