apologies • yunchan

Chapter 3

Chanwoo
Another cut.
And another.
And another.
After another.
I have slid the small metal in my wrist for too long. I feel dizzy. Did I cut too deep? I panicked. What if I die today? What would the others feel? Will they care? Will they even give me a proper funeral? The voices in my head are telling me otherwise.

They don't care about you
You're useless
Worthless

More tears are escaping my eyes. Tears burning my cuts but I did not feel any pain. This way, the pain I'm feeling will be blocked. Euphoria is what I feel right now. Eventually, I felt numb. My mind went blank. This is what I wanted. All the pain I'm going through will be gone for a while even though after this, I need to face the cruel reality.

Yunhyeong

I woke up alone in our bed. Where's Donghyuk? I looked in the bathroom connected to our room, he's not there. I looked in the kitchen, living room, the other bathroom, and the terrace yet he was no where to be seen. I went back to our bed and noticed a post-it note sticked to his pillow.

"Hey love! I'm sorry but I need to go to work early! I love you! :-)"

I chuckled at his cuteness. I then went to the kitchen to make myself breakfast. After eating, I bathed myself, you know, the usual routine. After my morning routine, I plopped down on the sofa and opened my phone. I opened my twitter and scrolled, like and retweeted many things. This has been my daily routine everytime my day off comes. I decided to just watch some drama until Donghyuk comes home.

It's around 6 PM and Donghyuk still hasn't come home. I decided to prepare dinner so Donghyuk would not have to wait. I prepared lasagña with garlic bread since those are two of his favorite food. I looked for the pasta maker to make the noodle but somehow its not in the pantry. Where could it be? I looked at every cabinet yet I can't seem to find the freaking pasta maker. I went to the unused room next to our bedroom since we put our things in their since we moved in. I looked at the first box I saw but it wasn't there. I was about to get the second box when I saw my old phone in the first box. Hmm, I misses using this thing. It is still hard for me to cope with new technology but still, this phone held many memories. I decided to pocket it and charge it after I make dinner. Successfully, I found the pasta maker and proceeded to make the lasagña and garlic bread.

After 2-3 hours, It's finally done and just in time Donghyuk came home. I pecked his lips and served hin his food. His eyes sparkled and the delicious food in front of him. We ate our dinner peacefully completely forgotting to charge my old phone.

Chanwoo

My Love
Hyugnd
i miss uyo
i boughtt alcohok toddy
i knpw yoy sadi i should not buy alcohol
but it wad screamifn my namew
im drunk
i think i am
hyungdfgg
come hereee
i miss youuiuuu
why did you leave meeee
am i not good enough
am i ugly
i know i am
am i fat
of course i am
am i usless
i knoe i adm
why is it easy for you to leave me
why is everyone leaving me
i have no lne
no froends i can call
i distanced muself
im all alone
my razor blade is my only friend
its the only one who helps me
cant imagine my life withoit it
theres pills in mu counter
sleepingf pills
should i dop it
okay
ill do it
ill miss uoo
i love you
hopefully this pain will finally be over
bye love

I grabbed the sleeping pills and drank 7 pills and down it with the alcohol I have. I'm slowly feeling dizzy. Vision becomes blurry.

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a/n
SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT HUHUHUHUHUHUHU NEXT CHAPTER MAYBE TOMORROWWWWW THIS CHAPTER IS VERY SHITTY SORRY