Life or Death

The Beginning

There once was a little girl who walked around town. Talk to everybody without a care in the world
But one day she came home and everything changed.
She started having anxiety towards every little thing, she feared she was going to mess up and ruin everything.
She started over thinking and trouble concentrating
It wasn't her fault that she was this way
It was the people around who made her this way.
She tells herself she must go on
But there's some days when she can't but fall on her knees and beg for forgiveness.
She always says it her fault
She always blames herself
Even if it's something simple
She reacts like it's the end of the world.
She fears everyday just to home
Because she's afraid of getting beaten in the brain by the words a man tells her every single day.

Part 1
      Tears fall from my face as I sing this song, sitting outside on the cold wet grass looking up at the starry night sky. The pain I keep within is hard to bare. Everyday I go through the same thing, being judged and called a liar because the man that raised me won't believe a word I say. He wonders why I have anxiety and depression, but wait. No. He thinks I hate authority and my anxiety and depression is a lie. I can't escape, because of fear, of losing the man who helped me and raised me.
       I don't know what to do. I've tried changing, but nothing seems to work. One day he's sweet and nice and there's no problem but the next day he turns into a demon that's been hiding and waiting to attack me at my weakest moments.
       I feel like life is just a dream that we're all forced to stay in and people like him are here to make us feel weak and little. Useless. Not good enough.
I feel like my mind is being tricked, being tricked into the illusion that I have no control. Like one second I can do whatever my hearts content and then the next I can't do anything and I'll never make it in life.
I sigh trying to get my thoughts together.
I hear a voice behind me.
       "I can help your pain young girl. I can make all your anxiety and depression go away."

       I jump and turn around, seeing a black ghost like figure with bright glowing red eyes.
       "Come here, I can help you."

       I stand up and face the ghostly man.
       "How can you help me? And who are you"

       "I'll make all the bad things go away and you don't need to know who I am"

       "Tell me who are." I say, demanding

       The ghostly man chuckles. "I'm Death little girl," I instantly feel fear, but relaxation at the same time. "I'm the man who takes people away and relieve them from their pain."

       "I don't believe this. I don't believe you. I'm just dreaming" I pinch my arm trying to convince myself this is a dream, that it's all fake.... but nothing is working. I'm still standing there in front of a man who claims he's Death. This is impossible.

       Death chuckles again. "You silly girl! You think I'm lying!"

       "You have to be! This can't be true!"

       "Ha, sweetie. When has death ever lied?"
       I stop pinching myself and think. "You're right."
       "Of course I am! Now will you let me help you with your pain?"

       "How will you help me? Nothing really works. I've tried everything and nothing gets better it just gets worse..." I look down about to shed a tear.

       "Not everything." Death puts out his hand showing me a rope that's been tied into a loop at the end. "You can use this."

       I look at the rope with nervousness but also curiosity. "What do I do with this?"

       "You can tie one end of the rope to a high place, like a bridge or a tree and you put your head through this loop and the next thing you gotta do, is jump. All your pain will go away after that moment."

       "You want me to kill myself?"

       "Yes, I do."

       "I can't do this..." my stomach starts to ache from the thought of dying.

       "Yes you can! It's so easy! And it'll end all of the heart ache and the tears that fall before you go to sleep."

       "Really?.."

       "Yes! I promise. Everything will be better after that."

       I take a deep breath and slowly walk towards death with my arm out and hand open, reaching for the rope that lies in his hand.

       "That's it, take it."

       I grab the rope out of Death's hand, sending a cold chill down my spine, making me have goosebumps all over my body. The chills are scary, but a sign of relief that everything will get better now. No more anxiety. No more pain. No more worries...
       Death appears behind me and leans towards my ear. "You're making the greatest decision my little girl" he chuckles.

       "No! Stop!"

       I jumped from the new voice. I look up away from the rope that's in my hand and I see a girl with long black hair and skin as fair and white as snow. She wears a white gown and has eyes as blue as a summer sky on a clear day. She looks at me.

       "Sweet little girl what are you doing? This isn't the right way."

       Death stands in front of me confronting the mysterious lady before I could open my mouth to respond. "Go away! You're too late! She's mine now."

       "I shall not go away! Who do you think you are trying to convince her to kill herself? Look at her. She's absolutely beautiful and has so much potential."

       "She's tired of the pain you fools put her in! You say you're all about helping and going by God's rules, making things better. But what's this? This young girl is suffering, wanting a break from the hell you idiotic detrimental people put her in!"

       The mysterious lady is shocked by what death just said to her. She takes a deep breath. "I am Life. I am the one who created hard times, tough emotions. I am making her stronger for her future. I'm preparing her for other challenges and future decisions that will come to her."

       "You're not preparing her for anything, but more pain! At least I'm trying to stop it FOR GOOD." Death clenches his fists.

       "I am preparing her and you're not helping her, the pain will be spread by other people who care and love her." Life takes a step closer to Death, getting in his ghostly face trying to explain what he is doing is wrong.

       I stand there listening to them argue about what's right for me and what's wrong. I want it to stop. I want it all to stop. First I meet Death, now I met Life? I'm so confused on what's happening. I need to get away!

       Death and life still argue, I simply put the rope that was in my hand down and I start to run. I run straight home hoping they don't follow me. My heart is pounding out of my chest I can feel panic, anxiety I eventually feel weak and unable to run anymore. I stop and look up at the sky.

       "I wish I was up there with the stars" I tell myself. As I look up I feel myself fall and everything goes black.