Doubts

Melange sighs, tossing in bed, staring up at the white ceiling, her mind racing. She should really be getting some sleep. However, there is just too much on her mind. Getting up, she carefully puts her dressing gown on and walks towards the kennels, going across the dog beds, looking at all her faithful dogs, who look up as she walk past. Sighing, she continues on, walking towards the room at the end, where she opens the door to find two grown dogs on opposite sides of the room. She sighs and looks down at a black and white Husky, as she sits down with her, as the Husky's puppies whimper as they suckle milk.

"Hey Yuki." Melange mutters, sighing as she leans back on the wall, watching the Husky. The Husky opens her eyes and looks up as she licks her owner's hand. "I wish you could race tomorrow."

The Husky whines as she noses Melange's hand for more pats, her favourite thing, as Melange complies, stroking Yuki's head. Melange sighs, looking at the other dog in the room. "I wonder why you ever chose Milo as a potential mate. He's not a great father even if he continues to bring you his treats and treats you like his alpha female." She sighs as one of the puppies, a white and black lab like puppy with perked up ears climbs on her and tugs at her messy hair.

"Come on Scout, please stop." Melange smiles, holding the pup in front of her face. She then places the puppy near his mother, where he wriggles his way into her side. She sighs and leans back, the wall hitting her back. "This is the first race without you, you know." She whispers to the dog as Yuki whines.

"I remember when I started the races. You were my first dog." She says, looking down. "You remember? I remember that day. The sun was shining. I had come to stay with my aunt and uncle because of... well you know. I was upset. I wished that I could just go back home. Then they got you, for me. I was so happy. The way you wagged your tail. I used to think that we could conquer the challenges that we faced alone, but that would never happen.

We ended up getting Milo and Doxie first, remember? They were your best buddies. Well, in Milo's case, your mate. Remember that first race? We had it hard, we ended up being last.

Remember how you got tangled and I ended up having to untangle you? That was hilarious. We ended up having to walk the whole way as Doxie hurt her paw. Poor girl. We walked together and I saw that as our first team bonding. I remember when Doxie ended up not being able to walk we put her on the sled and pulled her ourselves, myself holding her harness in the second lead position. Doxie was always the natural dog at the lead position. Remember? She used to put you in your place as she ran. She'd bring you guys back from the end and make you work harder then ever. However she was always submissive to you guys. But then, she still is. I wonder how she can be such a natural born leader, however not able to be dominant over you two. Milo just loves racing when it was raining. Dunno why. He just loves it. Lets hope Scout doesn't follow in his paw steps."

Closing her eyes, Melange could remember their first race as a team with the other three dogs, Ritz, Moon and Copper. They had been perfect for the positions. Ritz and Copper as extremely strong dogs just live in the wheel positions, pulling most of the weight of the sled. Yuki and Milo were the middle dogs, steady and sure pawed, ready for anything. That left Moon and Doxie as the lead dogs and they stepped into that position themselves. They had been off, left behind by the other dogs as they took it slow, learning. They passed one musher and another, before they were coming third. They dodged the branches from a tree. That was when a yelp was heard by Melange. She noticed that Doxie was limping. She stopped the sled, unlike other mushers who would have kept going. Doxie was whimpering as she crouched next to her as the other mushers raced pasted. Melange had stroked Doxie's head and talked to her, looking at her paw. Noticing the large scratch on her paw and the heat already coming from the paw. It was sprained. Sighing, Melange climbed on the sled and told her dogs to go slowly.

It was a slow race from then. Doxie had ended up collapsing halfway through, her paw almost burning hot. She must have hit it hard on one of the rocks on the path.

Moving Doxie to sit on the sled, Melange had taken the harness and pulled, telling her dogs to move and they did. An hour later they were seen crossing the finish line last, although saying to the press that they didn't care that they came last, it only mattered if Doxie was ok. The vet concluded a terrible sprain, which was wrapped. The first race didn't go terribly then.

"I guess that what I'm trying to say is thank you." She says, looking at Yuki. "I just wish you could be there."

oO —— Oo

Melange looks quickly at her team. Moon, Easter, Milo, Doxie, Copper and Ritz. The old crew. Except Yuki wasn't there.

"I can't do it." Whimpers Melange as she sits down on her sled. "Without Yuki..."

Doxie came towards her, nudging against her. She seemed to say that they were there sand no matter what, they are family.

Looking back now, Melange realises that she had been wrong. She hadn't been doubting herself, she had been doubting her team.

Scratching Doxie's head, she knew.
Maybe doubt does break hearts.
Maybe doubt does destroy souls.
But she sure as hell wouldn't let doubt break her.

Because she had her team and she needed no one else.

A/N:
1024 words in total! Not including this authors note.

There are a few dedications that must be stated first.
First dedication is to NopeLilithSinder666
She was one of the people who supported me during writing this one shot
Second is to my beautiful real life dogs, Jerry and Freya. Without them, I'd know nothing about dogs.
Lastly is to all of you. My amazing readers. It's been two years. I don't quite remember when I joined, however I know it was around this time. So I thank you all for being with me every step of the way, from publishing Wolves of the Moon, the original book, to now, publishing Doubts. Perhaps, if this one shot is liked enough, I'd make it into a full book.

But who knows. I've always known to live today, not tomorrow or yesterday. Because if you live the past or the future, you will miss so many things.