Doubts

Pain

Death happens. It's a part of life.
Everyone has questions about life and death. It's a part of human nature.
But when you are gone, who remembers your name? Who tells people about you? Who cares about you being gone? Who notices you are gone?
Who shows grief? Who is glad and benefits? Who just doesn't care?
Like at school, you have questions.
You worry what will happen the next day. Will your friends suddenly hate you the next day? Will your loved ones hate you? Will your teachers pick on you because you've gotten answers wrong? Will you embarrass yourself?
Even for life.
Why am I here? Why is everyone here? What am I supposed to do? What will be my legacy?
Melange sighs, staring at the grave infront of her. She stares at the words, before placing the flowers on it, her eyes sad and full of tears, her grey hair swirling in the wind, her wrinkled face changing to a face of youth for a moment as she remembers the great time she has had.
She turns, walking towards where she sees the taxi driver, as she smiles, walking towards the taxi to go home.
When she gets home, she sits down, patting the couch as Colin jumps up, his 40kg body taking up most of the couch, however she doesn't care. He whines, looking up at her as he nuzzles his mottled snout into her hand, his tail thumping on the cushions and his three legs under him as he lies with his head on her knees.
Almost twenty minutes later, a car pulls up to the house and Melange stands, Colin barking as her daughter in law, Jade and son Cam walk up to her , hugging her before she sees the four kids pile out of the car.
"Grandma!" Says the youngest, a boy, by the name of Adam. Adam smiles at her, his 13 year old face not yet transformed by puberty.
The second youngest, a girl by the name of Shyanne, hugs her and smiles, greeting her grandmother.
The oldest, a boy by the name of Aiden smiles at his grandmother, giving her a awkward hug and walking inside, so Melange turns to the second oldest, a young girl.
Out of all her grandchildren, this girl was the one to grieve the most after Malcom's death. She smiles as the girl hugs her tightly, smiling at her grandmother.
"Hey Grandma..." She whispers, looking at her as Melange smiles. "Hey, Lily."
Lily smiles as she walks into the house, holding the door open for her grandmother as they go to have lemonade, tea and Tim tams for the visit.
—
What happens when you die? What happens when you live?
Melange stares at the people of her family, Lily by her bedside and her children smiling at her as she smiles, before closing her eyes as the visitors leave her to rest, as Lily smiles at her, leaving.
Melange falls deeper into the abyss, seeing her husband and Yuki on the other side.
And in three months time, the empty spot beside the one grave is filled, and the words stand out in the sun as the new generation of Dog Sleds start, Lily standing with Yuki's descendent, Jerry.
—
Pain comes and goes. It can be like sharp, like thorns pricking into your sides.
Pain can also be like soft heartbreaks. When your loved ones die, fight or just something happens and you want to know why.
Pain can be everlasting. It can haunt you till the end of your and everyone else's time.
Pain can follow you after death.
Giving up pain is like giving up 10 million dollars to a charity. People would say it's good and you should do it as you and the people around you deserve it, however while that happens you feel selfish and need to find the fact that you need to help not them but yourself.
So the whole time you are plagued with what ifs.
Pain never fully leaves you. No matter what you do.
I know that. I've been in pain for every year of my life. This has helped me get through it.
Not many people want to hear stories like this, but people deserve to hear about people who have destroyed their pain and hopelessness and made something good about it. Maybe one day people might start listening.
They say a penny for your thoughts, but ill sell them for a dollar.
Their worth so much more after your gone.
It's funny how people start believing you after you die.
But it's also sad.
You try your whole life to help someone and all you get is perhaps a newspaper page.
There are hero's out there, helping people's pain.
And without them, there would be a lot more pain in everyone's lives.
-Melange Judith Folger

Three years... wow.
It doesn't feel that way when you have so much to do in life.
This threeshot was written with feelings I felt during times.
The first one was pride and doubts. I was prideful of finding people who read my stories but doubtful of the future.
The second one was acceptance. In that time I was going through a lot and found a way to help by writing about it.
This one... Well was personal.
My grandfather died recently and he was my role model, my everything that teachers ask you to write about.
So I wrote this in my free time. This is to honour my grandfather, the real Malcom. I didn't use his actual name, as well security, but just remember this is for him.
I'm probably gonna go nowhere with this book, so I'm ending it here.
I love you all and I will be posting more chapters of other books!
Lily