The snake in paradise

Author's Note:

This story is a fun take (hopefully fun, that is) on that supremely entertaining snake- in- camp Kuch Rang episode which was matched in levels of ludicrousness only by the sach-bolne-ki- dawaai epi that gets Dev to 'confess'. I seriously could not get over how hilarious this whole snake trapping in a backpack idea was so here is the snake's POV of the dreadful events that unfolded on that kaali raat.

(BTW, the snake had a mild crush on Dev. I mean, who wouldn't;)??!!) 

Apologies bcos I know my tenses are all over the place in this story. Will get around to correcting it sometime:(( 

The snake's POV: There I was sitting quietly, perfectly innocently munching on my morning frog. I had no clue that this was going to be such a roller coaster day in my life. I had hardly finished the breakfast when our boss, you know him better as Mr. Sapera, walked in humming a tune. Okay, that meant we were going to work today. Hmm, I wondered which one of us he will pick today.

Hey wait, he was coming towards me!!!! Mmmm, not quite sure this was a good thing but hey, I always keep an open mind, you know and a positive approach and all so I stretched myself and slithered into the basket he held out. These baskets are so over rated, you know. Who the hell said snakes have to live in baskets??

Okay, positive approach, positive approach. So, Bossman carried me out and there were these two humans standing there- a good looking dude (hmm, nice muscles there, my boy, lose the formals though) and a madly over painted woman. Okay, this looks like it will be an interesting day, I thought to myself. Little did I know. Sigh!

(A/N: That's Vicky (good looking dude) and GKB (madly over painted woman))

So these business dealings were underway and I really did not pay much attention you know. I wish I had. I would have sneaked away then and there. Before I knew it we were in a car, heading out to a camp site. Wow! How kind of you, Bossman, you are taking me out on a picnic??

Well no, he wasn't. Turns out I have go and scare some poor soul out of his wits. Ah well, that's a small job for me. Really quite insulting, actually, usually these little projects are given to the newbies, y'know or the lowest of our kind, the unmentionable grass snakes!!! Wonder why bossman wanted me to do this job. Okay, now point me towards the guy who needs to be scared and...... what???!!!!

There's a huge bunch of people there- at least 30 of them. I am supposed to do what??? I gave Bossman an incredulous look, which was totally lost on him as he dropped a smelly thing in my basket. Yech! What was that?? A sock? A SOCK??? A smelly sock, at that!! What the heck do you expect me to do with the danged thing, I say??? What?? I am supposed to sniff at it and then go find the guy it belongs to???

Are you nuts?? Hang on here, aren't you are confusing me with a different specie altogether- one with two pointed ears, a wet nose and a LONG WAGGING TAIL, you blithering idiot!!! Hey, wait a minute, don't throw me out of my comfy basket. Wait, what are you doing?? I can't sniff and find!! My last name is NOT Dobermann. Nooo, wait!!!

Ouch!! Okay, that 'ouch' was my reaction to being chucked to the ground. As should be evident by now Bossman is not blessed with too much brains. Have you ever heard of a snake being asked to sniff and find its victim?? Seriously, this man needs to go back to school!

How on earth am I supposed to find this supposed victim of mine now?? Ah, hang on, I'll overhear the conversation that 'Muscles' is having with Bossman. Maybe that will give me some clues. Wait, madly- over- painted lady is saying something about a 'Dev'. Oh okay, so this is the guy I am supposed to scare the living daylights out of?? Great, now give me a picture or something already, woman!!! Humans are so dumb. What, they think snakes are telepathic?