lost

chapter 1

chapter 1:

       I slowly open my eyes just enough to see the lights above me. I can hear the slow, steady beeping in the background. I can hear my heart beat perfectly and the same tempo as the beeping. I opened my eyes a little bit more, enough to see the ceiling above me. I move my eyes around the room without moving my head. The room smells like rubber gloves. I sit up and lean back into the back rest of my bed. I know I'm in a hospital room but I cant remember why. As I think back to the events of last night, my mom was drunk. Did she get in a wreck drunk driving? No she didn't I remember we got home and I was standing in the driveway with the trash bin. The trash bin. I walked down with my mom to take the trash out to the corner of the street, then I remember. I heard the breaks and then saw the lights.

         I sit all what way up this time. I slowly look down. I removed the blanket from my legs, then I pulled up my gown. My right leg looked a lot better than my left one. When the car came it hit me on my left side. My right leg had a few scratches and bruises. My left leg on the other hand had black and blue marks all over it. The skin is peeled. In some parts it looked like blisters from a burn. Then others it looked like I got trampled my a heard of buffalo. I looked at my arms they where pretty scratched up and bruised but almost nothing compared to my left leg. The whole left side of my torso was bruised and scratched too. I looked in the mirror on my right. My face. I had a bruising under my left eye, I had a cotton bandage under my nose and on the top of my lip. I had many scratches all over my face. I continued to look in the mirror when I heard foot steps coming down the hall.

        "Oh, Ms. King," The doctor said as he walks in, "I'm happy to see that you are up. My name is Dr. Brown.” He had a friendly way about him that made me feel more comfortable. He had green eyes with brown hair. he is wearing glasses that make him look smart and like he knows what he's doing. He is in his big white doctor coat with blue trim.

        "Umm.. ya.." I say with uncertainty "Umm... do--.. do.. you know what.. umm.. happened to me and my mom?" his smile disappears. I can tell that he is trying to stay positive but what ever he is about to say isn't going to be good. I already can tell.

        "Well thats sort of what I came to talk to you about Ms.--"

        “Jessica," I cut him off, "You can call me Jess."

        "Okay, Jess." he starts to stutter, "Last night you and your mom went out to take the trash out to the curb. correct"

        I nod

        "When you where out on the curb a drunk driver was driving recklessly up your street." He says very clearly while looking into my eyes to make sure I am comprehending every piece of information he is telling me.

        I nod again

        "When he was driving up the street he hit you and your mother." he pauses. I don’t say anything.

        I just nod again

        "When he hit you you fell down and got scraped up pretty bad. you got some of the rocks from the ground stuck in you skin so we had to pull those out." I say nothing. I just keep looking into his eyes. "You have second to third degree burns on your left leg from the engine of the car. After you got hit the car stopped for about 30 to 45 seconds and your leg was still under the car and the engine burned you."

        "What about my mom?" He gives me a hard and sympathetic look "What happened to her? Where is she?" He takes my hand. Still looking into my eyes.

        "Your mom was standing next to the mail box when you where taking the trash out."

        I nod

        "When the car hit her," Dr. Brown said, "The mirror on the side hit the left side of her head, the car was moving so fast that it made the right side go smashing into the mailbox."

        I don’t nod, I just stare at him

        “Wa… what are you, saying?" I asked. I know what he is trying to say but I refuse to believe it until I hear the exact words.

        "I am so sorry," he says "Your mother is dead" My body goes cold. I cant feel anything. I cant hear the beeping. I cant hear my heart beating. I cant breathe.

        "What do you mean... dead...." I ask he takes a long pause and takes off his glasses.

        "Your mother," he stops "There was nothing we could do she bled too much before we got there." I still search his face, still looking for a clear answer. "Jess," he pauses, "your mother is gone."

I don’t move. I don’t say anything. I don’t even breathe. 

        "I'll give you a moment," he stands up, puts his glasses back on and walks out of the room.

Gone. The word echoes inside of my head. 

Gone. Its all hits me, all at once. Im never going to see her again. Im not going to see her smile. Im never going to have her to ask her for advice. Im never going to see her again. 

I see something out of the conner of my eye. I turn. Our eyes meet.