𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐋. hq

〔pre-game〕: pocky

孤爪 研磨
k e n m a    k o z u m e
— year 2 class 3 —

The first time we met, I wasn't exactly fond of her. She was like a storm, she brought people in like a hurricane. She was the type of person to earn people's trust in a second, while I was the type of guy who would rather play video games than talk to a complete stranger. We were worlds apart, and for a girl, she was the exact opposite of how I was.

Popular, charismatic, dazzling.

Those were the perfect words to describe Koizumi Miki. She was too bright in comparison to the sun, and I couldn't understand why someone like her would even dare try to hang out with someone like me.

The first time we spoke was probably due to pity. Even as a grade schooler, I would rather hang out with myself than with others. I was fully convinced that video games were a better source of company in comparison to people. And boy was I right.

As a third grader, I was alone most of the time, so when our teacher asked us to group ourselves into pairs, nobody was exactly fond of the idea of pairing up with me except Miki.

"I want to do it with Kozume-kun" she insisted back then, despite the line of people who volunteered to be her partner.

She was a weird one, I thought right then because who in their right mind would volunteer to pair up with the class loner. Who in their right mind would choose to pair themselves up with me.

The first time I realized I liked her, I thought, I was absolutely fucked. Because this was Koizumi Miki, an incredible girl who was absolutely adored by everyone, and I was your regular old guy named Kenma.

For all I could remember, it has always been us three. We were inseparable, despite Kuroo being a grade higher. Well, we were inseparable, considering that Miki had always been my classmate, sometimes my seat mate due to the arrangement of our last names.

Then again, I differed the most among us three. Kuroo had his way around people. Even if he had those weird speeches, he always managed to keep the momentum of a team. He was a good captain. Miki, on the other hand, always knew how to charm others. It would be a miracle if she didn't get along with a stranger she just met.

And then there's me, the guy who would rather lock himself in his room and play video games.

We were inseparable, and that fact grew on me because the next thing I knew, I couldn't admit my feelings like a regular old person. The next thing I knew, I was jealous of all the other guys who found it easy to confess to her.

Nothing scared me more than the thought of loosing what we actually had and I knew how important it was for her because one day she told me about what she really thought.

"I don't think I'll be able to take it if our friendship ever breaks" she says back in our first year of middle school after being confessed to the first time.

"That's way worse than getting dumped" she admits and right then I knew.

I could never tell her my feelings.

The fact that she was our high school volleyball coach's granddaughter wasn't helpful either because that meant seeing her whenever he wanted her to go to practice.

"Kenma" she tilts her head rather cutely, catching my attention almost immediately.

"What?" I ask her, not failing to notice the quick glance she gives to Kuroo who's been training Lev for hours.

"You seem worn out" she says and I shake her off right then.

"I do not"

"Yes you do"

"I do not"

"What's up?" She asks, ignoring whatever I told her.

"Nothing" I insist and she rolls her eyes at me. This was Miki, nosy to the point it becomes obnoxious.

"I'm just bothered by the new kid, Lev" I lie, and she seems to buy it easily just to prove how much she trusted me.

"Well, he's a freshman, there's surely more room to grow. Besides if its you Kenma, I'm sure you're bound to find a way around it" she grins naively.

And right then I ask what in the world did I possibly do in order to deserve such a childhood friend like her.

"Speaking of which," she changes the topic and gazes back at Kuroo once again, "I think Kuroo's been hiding something from us".

I know, I wanted to tell her. I know what he's hiding but at the same time I knew what she meant by that.

Koizumi Miki is in love with Kuroo Tetsuro, and I dare not to speak up about it because I am frightened by the moment she confirms it, just as frightened as she is about breaking our friendship.

"Dunno" I just tell her, and it leaves an unfathomable feeling in my gut. It gives me butterflies and frogs, and a feeling of dread in the pits of my stomach.

And right then I'm thankful for the moment Kuroo initiates a conversation, averting Miki's attention from me as he says, "Hey, it's about time we head home".

"Right" she agrees, hoisting me up, knowing how long it'll take me to get up from where we were seated.

It was way past dusk when we walk home together. It had become some sort of ritual, heading home together with Miki and Kuroo under the moonlit evening, every single day after volleyball practice.

Despite how I hated training 'till the night, nothing else revitalizes me as soon as I see the girl smiling as she tells us her tales.

There was one time she claimed their group set the kitchen on fire during home economics, another time she said she almost tripped down the stairs and the other time she got hit by a ball during physical education.

Whatever it was, it was always amusing to hear her stories, but tonight happened to be different because tonight of all nights Kuroo decided it was about time he told us.

"I got myself a girl friend" he says, and we almost stop in our tracks despite the fact that I knew all along.

I was anticipating Miki's reaction, whether she'd bawl her eyes out, or whether or not she'd reprimand the male for not telling her sooner.

But there was nothing.

She just gave him a big cheeky grin as she says, "Congratulations".

And right then I knew our friendship would never be the same.