Interim Goddess of Love #1 of 3 (COMPLETE)

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I am balancing perfectly on a small square of a raft. It's made of bamboo and it's keeping me from sinking into the dark green water.

I would normally freak out at this.

But he and I are there together. He's holding me close, and somehow it feels right, and natural, and I am not hyperventilating from shock. We are again in the middle of a conversation and my voice is just as steady as the arms entwined around his neck.

We are talking about going into hiding.

Or rather, he is suggesting it, and I am telling him how ridiculous it is. Throughout this I am marveling at the freedom I have to touch him. I lightly tap his chest with fingers that are more slender and graceful than I remember mine being. His reaction is to tighten his embrace very slightly, but I feel it, and I barely pay attention to what is being said.

If this is someone else's memory then I am thankful that it is at least interactive.

"Then we agree?" he says.

"Yes," I hear myself say, but I have no idea what I am agreeing to.

"Don't be afraid."

I don't feel that at all. "I just wish I knew how much time we have," I say.

"Never worry about time," he says. "It's never enough anyway."

"Even for us?"

"Especially for us."

I wish I understood what that meant, but he kisses me and I forget to ask. His lips are on mine but I feel the rush everywhere else, from my head to my chest to my toes. It's a kiss that goes on for very long, too long, and I am holding my breath.

I woke up gasping.

That was my first kiss. In a dream. From a memory that wasn't mine. Does that count?

* * *

Five things you might not know about Kathy Martin:

1. I think Slumdog Millionaire is the best movie ever.

2. I could eat mangoes all day, I love them that much.

3. I collect photos of ancestral houses. One day I'd like to write a book about them.

4. I have never had a boyfriend.

5. Sometimes I think I'm invisible. I wish I weren't.

* * *

Kathy found me at the Guidance Office the following Tuesday, and she brought turon.

"How is Jake?" I said cheerfully.

She looked sheepish. "Fine. Great. Excellent. We've been hanging out all weekend and he's just... well. I... wanted to say sorry. And thank you."

"Free turon is thanks enough."

"I'm so glad you weren't injured. Diego is kind of wild, isn't he?"

Apparently no one was hurt that badly that night, which was surprising after all that mess. The school administration downplayed it too, because otherwise they would have banned the Bash from ever happening again, and there was no word of it this week so far. I suspected supernatural intervention on cuts, wounds, and memories, but I didn't get the memo about it. Maybe they did a number on me too.

"He's special that way," I said, shrugging. "Did he apologize to you at least? He almost ruined your night!"

"This might sound weird, but I can't really be mad at him," Kathy said. "I mean, he was the perfect gentleman when he met my parents, and if it wasn't for the fight, I wouldn't even have gotten together with Jake, you know? We kind of saw each other in the middle of the drama and he just rushed to me like..."

"It's meant to be," I said. "I told you."

"Maybe we have Diego to thank," Kathy said. "I wouldn't even have been there if he hadn't asked me."

Was it possible? Could Diego have recklessly risked everyone's lives just to pair up these two kids?

And should he take the credit for everything?

"As you said, he's wild," I said, trying to be zen about this.

"Oh, but I have you to thank too," she quickly added. "I feel like there's something different about me, and talking to you these past few weeks kind of got me to think about it."

"I'm glad I could help."

But Kathy wasn't done yet. She had the words at the tip of her tongue, and she was trying to get them out. "I... I don't feel invisible anymore. I used to be the girl everyone ignored, but recently I just realized..."

It was true. Kathy was not the girl in the background anymore. It was obvious in the way Carson, and Ian, and Jake saw her. She had their attention without even trying.

"You're very visible," I said, completing her thought. "I'm glad you know that now."

She looked genuinely happy. "I just wish I knew when it happened. I was probably missing out on so much."

"Don't regret anything. Things happen when they're supposed to," I said, and I sounded just like the guy I was still super annoyed with. Ugh.

The words made Kathy feel better though.

* * *

Just before I locked up the Guidance Office, I had another visitor.

He came in, closed the door behind him, and sat on the across right across from me. I harrumphed loudly before I could stop myself, then I coughed in a more ladylike fashion. And continued to alphabetize the personality test results of the juniors.

He didn't mind sitting there quietly.

I went from filing last names Franco to Inciong, but eventually put the sheets down.

"Is Diego all right?" I said.

"He'll be okay," Quin answered.

"He's very reckless."

"It's the way someone acts when he cares for nothing. Now you see why I wanted you to be careful around him."

I went through the motions of pulling sheets of paper from one folder into another, but I really was just waiting for him to bring it up.

"What?" he went, as if I had said it aloud.

"Robbie helped me out of Basement and took me home."

"I know."

He didn't look like he knew of my last dream. He didn't seem to know about that first one either. So it wasn't like we had shared a moment last night.

Or it was just a dream and it doesn't mean anything. Maybe this was the only way that I could get what I wanted.

"So is it always like this?" I asked. "Some people get what they want, and others don't?"

How much of people's decisions were their own? Maybe Robbie got his own dash of supernatural intervention, at my expense.

"Hannah, we're not granting wishes here. It's not possible to do it for everyone."

"We make sure things happen as they should," I said.

He smiled at me. "You're starting to see it."

"Did you hear about Kathy and Jake?"

"Yes. You jumped the gun on that one, but it worked out."

"I don't get punished?"

That look on his face, almost amused if he would only let himself, came back. I missed that. "It worked out. We can move on. There's always someone else you need to take care of."

It was time to put the folders away. Quin offered to take my bag, and I gave it to him, dumping a pile of books in his arms too. He took it without a snappy comeback, and instead asked me about my day, and my mom, and Tita Carmen, and what we were having for dinner.

It still stung, knowing that he would rather see me with someone else than give me my moment, but I had to be mature about this. It wasn't about me.

The interim goddess of love had other people to worry about.

To be continued