Its Complicated

Chapter 24

"How can someone say that to their daughter?  'Not allowed back'..  Now how the hell am I supposed to get my clothes?"  I said, sitting on the couch, staring at the ground and mumbling to myself.  Jake stayed quiet beside my side, watching me.  He's been doing that the last 10 minutes and its kinda scaring me.  Its that 'i'm-watching-in-case-you-do-something-stupid' stare.  Like what can I do when I can't walk.  Cuss myself to death?  Thats not a thing.

I finally looked up at him "Stop staring, please, its uncomfortable.."  I said softly.

He nodded, then bit his lip and sat back.  "Sorry.."  He said quietly, looking down.

"My phone charger is in that house.  All my necessities are in there and I cannot step foot on the property to get it unless I want to die."  I shook my head slowly.

Jake looked back over at me  "What kind of phone?"

"iPhone.  4."

"You can use my charger.  I've got the same thing."

"Okay, problem solved there.  Well, what about my clothes and all?"

"What if we got your sister to get your clothes in a suitcase.  One by one in loads we can get it all over."  Jake suggested.

For a moment, I considered the option, then shrugged  "It can work, but I don't know if Elizabeth would want to help me.  She's always been the oh-so-favored of the two of us."

"Well she's got to at least be willing to help you."  Jake insisted.  I rolled my eyes.

"Right, because everyone wants to help a crippled 17 year old who just got thrown out of the house and was threatened to be killed by her own mother.  I don't think so."  I spoke sarcastically, self-hatred building up in me.  There's got to be something wrong with me if she rejected me.  Do I look funny?  Is my personality bad?  Maybe.

"I'm helping you."  He replied, trying to reassure me.  Haha.  Its not working..

"I know, but thats because your my boyfriend and I suppose your obligated to help me.  If we weren't, you probably would leave me alone and I would be dead."  I said quietly.

I felt his hand take my chin, tilted it sideways and up, so that I faced him.  His look was hard, his brown eyes staring into my blue eyes as if he were staring down my soul.  It was very discomforting, but I watched him.  After a moment, he spoke.

"I wouldn't leave you to die.  I saw you in the window when you swallowed those pills, and all I could think was 'I can't lose her'.."

"See, you loved me then.  What would you have done and didn't love me?  What if you absolutely hated me?  Would you have left me to die?  I would have died if you hadn't seen me.  There was nobody there for myself except me.  I'd be in hell if I had died."  I said, my voice suddenly quieting as I said that with realization.  I'd done so many things and not done anything about it, and just now realized that my afterlife would probably burning in the deepest pits of hell.

"I still would have called an ambulance.  I can't see anyone die, its horrible."

"You make it sound like you've expirenced death."

"Close enough to death, but thats a different story for a different day."

For a moment, I was curious, then shook the thought away and sighed "Okay.."

He let go of my chin, then cupped my cheek in his hand and leaned forwards, kissing me softly.  I relaxed after a moment, then kissed him back softly, turning my body to face him, my legs tucked underneath me.  He pulled me slightly closer, then pulled back from the kiss and hugged me lightly.  I leaned my head onto his chest, then closed my eyes.