Loose Appearances, Stuck Personalities

Don't Let Me Talk When I am Sick

Let it be known that staying up late in the freezing weather will eventually give you a cold; I had certainly acquired one. I despised colds for one simple reason. The fact that, during the few times I was under the weather, I became prone to say anything that came to mind (things I usually would have never discussed otherwise). I rather enjoyed keeping matters close to my chest, not because I was shy or secretive, but because it seemed much safer than throwing myself into tanks of sharks. It gives you more cards to play, despite how many cards you have, and more surprises to release when the time calls for it.

On that morning the next day, a knock sounded at the door at the very same moment I awoke. My mind was blanker than a canvas, but I spoke clearly.

"Yes?" From beyond the door came a melodious voice. I'm not sure why I felt it was so, but nevertheless, the sound of it rang in my ears and I smiled a tiny bit. It felt like a dream, even though I knew I was awake. Yet, no matter the perplexity of my mental situation, I still found solace in a familiar vocal pitch which I assumed, in my tired state, was Lockwood. My eyes were open, my mind was dazed, my lips curling further on both sides of my face.

"It's almost noon, I was wondering if you wanted lunch? You didn't respond to Lockwood before he left so I thought I'd ask again just in case." Again, my mouth spoke before my mind did, not quite registering what 'Lockwood' had said.

"Sure. Sounds swell." My voice was a bit slurred and I can't remember if I imagined or heard it, but I thought I heard a small noise of confusion. Like he hadn't been expecting that answer at all. I claim myself lucky that that night, I dressed in regular clothes due to the fact my nightgown was wet and I didn't bring any other clothes. In my random train of sick thought, I wondered if I would ever get chance to buy new clothes. I got out of bed slowly, making the bed out of habit, and went to the door. My room wasn't a mess, thank goodness, but I didn't check myself before I had opened the door. I opened it more than usual, the door swinging open about halfway before I stopped it, rubbing my eyes a bit as I did so. When I opened them again, I was met with the rimmed glasses of George and not the expected smile of Lockwood. His face was still stone-like and bland, making him look like a boy in old-timey photos. Sure it hurt to smile for ten minutes, standing rigid, but they always looked so depressed and drab. His eyebrows crinkled as he noticed my expression go sour.

"Are you alright? You look rather dead"

I wanted to assure him I was fine, but not even milliseconds before I was going to say it, the need to vomit struck my throat. I dashed, lunging toward the bathroom. I held my hand to my mouth in an attempt to slow the process down. I shouldered George on my way there and hit the doorway with my other shoulder, but I made with just enough time to slump to my knees. I hugged the bowl like a friend as my guts were squeezed out of me. I felt a hand rubbing my back, but it hardly registered as I dumped my innards out into the porcelain funnel. God, if I wasn't dying, I wish I was. I swear it felt like one of the worst moments of my life.

Once I was done hurling, I moved to the sink and rinse my mouth with water. I still felt hot, but as I brushed my teeth and my arm worked on autopilot, I didn't notice it at first. The toilet flushed next to me and I jumped. Ghosts can't flush a toilet! Yet as I looked over, I finally acknowledged George's presence beside me and I immediately felt guilty. He looked slightly worried, minutely-genuinely worried and I hadn't even given him the time of day to get to know him. Nor Lockwood. But I had my reasons. I knew that. Reasons neither of them knew. And they wouldn't know. Hopefully, never know.

"Rethinking things?" The voice was faint, but I'd know that raspy voice from anywhere. But right now, I wasn't looking for spectral company, quite the opposite actually. While George remained stoically baffled, I growled and barked toward my room, leaving the door wide open in my wake. It was bright inside my new, comfortable pad.