Help Me Out

I'm Running..

Chapter Four

ALL HUMAN

Edward shook me gently to wake me up once we reached his apartment. It was, thankfully, an apartment complex on the other side of town from where I lived. He showed me the room I would be staying in. It was small, but all I needed. I finally had a space to myself.

"Is this enough? My room is a bit bigger, you could sleep in there if you wanted to," he looked down at me. I shook my head.

"No, no, no," I held up my hands. "this is perfect. Thank you."

He smiled. "I'm going to go take a shower. Feel free to have anything you want from the kitchen. Remote to the TV is on the couch."

I was left there standing. I didn't know what to do. First, I wasn't going to impose and demolish this guy's kitchen. Second, it was oddly weird. I was sleeping in this guy's house that I only met yesterday.

Do I feel like a whore.

I'd never tell Edward that. But every time we held hands, he hugged me, I felt disgusting. Whore. I had a boyfriend.

But did he really count as that anymore? I mean, if I happen to kiss Edward, would I really be put on that one TV show called Cheaters? I highly doubted it. Jacob and I were nothing anymore. He knew it. He knew that love we once had was long gone; if it even existed.

My head was suddenly caught in a dizzy frenzy of fantasies. Kissing Edward. That would defiantly stamp whore straight on me. But why would I kiss someone I just met? That's crazy. Insane.

Him and I were friends. I knew that once we figured this out, he would be gone. Long gone. Finding some blond bombshell he can go clubbing with. I knew that's how it would happen. I knew he was just trying to get his karma covered before he went out into the real world.

But that's not the Edward I met tonight. The one I met tonight is kind. Caring. Sweet. Unlike most men in this world. He doesn't hold my hand like he owns me or something. He does it because...because he wants it there. He holds me tighter than most people do. Is it because...because he wants me there? He can't. We can't. We can't be. We'd both be killed.

But life with Edward could be...amazing. Incredible. Easy as breathing.

But life with Edward is impossible. Because I'll always be stuck in Jacob's trap.

Forever.

Tonight is pointless. It'll never work. Fear overcame me, drowning me once again. Jacob was going to kill me when I got home. I knew it. Maybe I should welcome it. It's relief. Then Edward will never have to put my weight on his shoulders again.

I was silently crying now. I had to leave. Had to. I couldn't stay. I knew he wouldn't let me leave, but I had to.

I walked past his bathroom and heard the shower running. I could hear him humming quietly to himself.

My stomach ached. It was hard to leave his company already.

I slowly turned the knob on the front door. Luckily, the door made no sound. Before I left, I grabbed Edward's jacket from off the hook by the door. He wouldn't mind, would he?

It was pouring rain outside. I put the hood up and started jogging down the road.

Back to hell. Back to pain.

Away from safety. Love.

Tears mixed with the rain drops on my face. I was far away from him now. All I had left now was this jacket that I wore tightly around me.

Now what would I tell Jacob? A friend took me to dinner? Yeah...I like that one. But what friend? Oh! The study group went to dinner! Yeah. Okay. That sounded like a safe bet.