Realization!

Chapter 3

S- and that girl is somebody I couldn't even recognize. Bahar se toh avni hi thi but andar se she was a different person altogether. And so trust me when I say that I understand your anger and hurt. Because jab mujhe khud itna bada jhatka laga to see her like this I can imagine that its 100 fold – 1000 fold worse for you. When I saw what avni...no neilanjana was I was shaken. My role model, the girl I saw as my inspiration, my friend, my big sister was no longer everything I had built her up to be. She had a new name, a new personality- she was now weak, scared, she did not fight for anything- even for the right, she was like a robot. She had started an orphanage for a few abandoned kids and even though she was incredibly kind to them she was still mechanical about it all....her soul, her spirit, everything had disappeared. She was just going through the motions. When I tried to talk to her to ask what had happened she would refuse to answer. As if she had taken some moun vrat. After many months of being with her and seeing her closely and trying to talk I know a few things...even I still don't know her reasons for leaving you, but I know a little bit more than you I think

N- sunheri, mujhe nahi jan na hai uske reasons

S- and I'm not telling you also. I'm not justifying her actions. But please let me tell you just some facts. I know you want to know. Maybe just for closure. Don't you want to know what happened to OUR avni? Afterall this you can still do what you please but meri baat sun lene se kuch nahi change hoga na...

Neil just remained quiet and sunheri took it as her cue to continue.

S- so as I was saying- over the years I have pieced together this much. Avni left because she was being threatened by vidyut. She was worried for the safety of you and the family...but I always wondered why she ran...afterall I knew that you would support her, so why did she run away from you when she could have sought with you

This statement of hers perked Neils curiosity. He now looked at her with full attention. This was exactly what was bothering him too.

S- I know this is what you are wondering too...and I wish I had the FULL answer to that but I only know a part of it. I know that its related to her mother's death. Avni never revealed everything but she let slip once to me that she couldn't afford to break her family with the truth about neela ma's murder. She said that vidyut was an evil man who had made a fool proof plan just like he had framed avni for juhi's murder-a plan to break her family and she could not allow that to happen and that leaving you all was the only way to make sure that you'd all be safe.

And I have asked her several times why she did not involve you in her plans or atleast get in touch with you later...why is she forcing herself to stay away. Because neil, I have seen her closely in the last 4 years and I know that she is living like a corpse only. She either never smiles or wears a fake smile, she cries herself to sleep every SINGLE night, she keeps staring at these 2-3 photos she has- of you, of your family and her 2 mothers. The only 2 days that I see a glimpse of some true happiness on her face are in Jan and June- and I know that's because one of those days is your wedding anniversary and the other is your birthday. This orphanage and these kids are her distraction- her means to find some meaning to life and she works very very hard to provide the best she can for them. She works 2 jobs and I know that apart from the money her reason to do it is to try and distract herself from her memories...of you, of the family, of what could have been....

Neil- was pained as he listened to sunheri talk about how avni was living. But he argued to himself- she chose this- she walked away- she didn't come back

S- I know you must be thinking that all this is her choice na...voh chali gayi aur waapas mud ke nahi dekha. And I agree with you neil, I ask her this all the time. I keep asking her why she's living in pain when she could have come back to you. And the only thing I can come up with is that she's just lost faith.