Realization!

Chapter 4

Neil- FAITH? faith in what? She didn't have faith in me...that's why all this happened in the first place. He said angrily

I have listened to everything you have said sunheri but the bottom line still remains and you said it too...avni had reasons to be worried and scared for the family's safety. She ran away to keep everyone safe na..for me, for us, for mishit na...but why did she decide everything on her own. She did not trust me...that I will stand by her. Accha chalo, she ran away but 10 years sunheri, 10 years she stayed away and I have lived in guilt, in denial, in mourning...all the time waiting for one glimpse of her, just one. And she did not even try to come back. She didn't even look back.

S-Because she thinks of herself as a CURSE, as manhoos, as a bad omen! you think she didn't want to come back to you?! I already told you how she's been living her life...you don't think it would have crossed her mind to come back to you? She exclaimed loudly...took a pause and said- I know neil, I know you loved her, you gave her unconditional love and support and despite that she still ran away and left you. But do you know her? you know her story, her background, her truth but can you not see how damaged she is. Neil- tumne apne pyaar se ananya ko avni banaya, but avni has seen far too much in life. Jab insaan ko sirf chot pe chot lagti rahti hai then they cease to function and just seek an escape. Jabse tum avni se mile ho, how many days can you recall that you were both completely happy and at peace. And I don't mean with each other, I meant circumstances wise...kya tumhaare around 2 saal ke shaadi shuda life main 1 mahina bhi bina koi na koi drama ke beeta hai? Un 2 saalon main 8 mahine toh avni jail main thi...finally jab voh bahar aayi toh sukoon ke bajaye us se neela ma bhi chin gayi! voh neelama who was her only constant since her childhood...after that if she was put in a position where vidyut gives her evidence of a full proof plan to break your family, a plan which threatens all of your safety...how do you expect her to react. Especially when she feels like shes the reason for it all! If she told you, you would not let her leave, you would support her- she knew that but she felt and still feels like she is the reason everything happened in the first place. And that if she took herself out of the equation everything would be ok and aisa hua bhi. Jaise hi avni ki marne ki khabar aayi, vidyut surrendered and went to jail.

Neil- so you are trying to tell me that she did all this and decided to stay away because she thinks of herself as a bad omen? ! Like seriously?- he gave a harsh laugh

S- Haan, I know tumhaare liye ke feeling samajhna mushkil hai. But neil main jaanti hoon uss feeling ko...to feel unwanted, to feel like a curse.

N- haan main nahi samajh sakta iss feeling ko. Ok even if she felt that way, she knew I loved her. Usne muhse vada kiya tha voh mera saath nahi chodegi, ki voh humaare rishte ko sabse upar rakhegi, humesha saare faisle saath me lene ki. And she forgot all her promises just because of her "feeling" of being a bad omen!

S- neil, tumhaare 2 saal ka pyaar poore lifetime of hurt, anguish ko itni asani se nahi mita sakta. Haan tumne us se beintaha mohabbat ki, you'd never think of her as a bad omen but aise zakhmon se ubharne ke liye bahut vakt lagta hai. When she thinks that her mere presence is doom for you and your family, then how will she think of her promises to you. When she feels like she will lose you all if she stays in your life, then every other promise will fall flat in front of that.

Ok lets do something. Just follow what I'm saying ok...its a small mind exercise