The Fire in the Monster

... Get Burned

The anger and rage rolling off Sam was so strong it felt like it had a physical form, spreading everywhere, filling up the room.

"Sam?" I said, keeping my voice relaxed. "Baby, I need you to calm down. He's gone now."

I took a step towards him, intending to hug him, let him feel safe in my arms and slowly calm down. But when I spoke, his head turned and his eyes fixed on me and I stopped in my tracks.

Fear. Waves of it broke over me, pounding against me again and again, making it hard to breath, hard to think.

"How long was he here?" Sam asked, through gritted teeth.

I fought to speak, managed to find my voice after a few moments. "I'm not sure. Maybe a half hour or so."

His hands formed fists at his side and he walked towards me. I stood, frozen, locked in his gaze and finding it impossible to move.

"He was here...for a half an hour...and you didn't think to CALL for me?!?!"

He growled in frustration, standing in front of me now, less than a foot away. He was so big, of course he had always been, but normally that made me feel safe. Right now though, that felt like a weapon, another weakness that I had, a disadvantage that could be exploited.

His jaw ground together over and over, making a loud and sickening sound that put my teeth on edge. "He put you in god damn bindings last time! AFTER he got done trying to knock you out so Andrew could fucking assault you!"

I whimpered a little, finding myself able to move slightly and using it to press myself more into the counter, wanting to seem as little as possible.

"And you thought that instead of yelling for me, when I was less than 30 feet away, you would sit here and chat with him?!?!" His hands slammed on the counters on either side, effectively caging me in. My eyes widened a bit more and I tried to force my voice to cooperate.

"S-sam... stop this..." I felt tears sting the corners of my eyes.

"What if he had tried to hurt you, hmm? Steal you, take you somewhere and fucking kill you, or worse?!? Huh? Do you think when you told him to stop, he would?"

His demon aura was starting to shimmer off his skin a little as he ramped up, no end to the rage in sight, and for the first time, I was completely terrified of him. I tried to tell myself that this was because he was worried, I tried to tell me that he was trying to scare me so I wouldn't put myself in danger. That he was misguided, but not cruel. I tried to tell myself that even if he lost control, he was still Sam, and Sam would never hurt me.

"Sam... I-I'm not a chi-ild. I can handle i-it." I stammered, unable to look away from him, unable to break his gaze, though I willed my body to with all my might.

"You're going to handle him? A fucking Nephilim!?!" He lifted his hands off the counter and slammed them back down, making the counter shake and my knees start to give out. "You couldn't handle one human asshole by yourself. Or were you just going to let him beat on you, too?!?!"

"Oh..." I whispered, my knees finishing what they started and curling under me as I slumped to the floor.

Sam looked down at me, suddenly seeming to snap back into himself, and he backed away from me.

"Oh shit, oh Mika, I'm so sorry, I... fuck." He looked horrified and his hands were shaking. "I didn't mean that, I-... I get scared of things happening to you and I-... I'm a fucking asshole." He buried his face in his hands, bending over at the waist.

I tried very hard to pay attention, to respond. I tried to open my mouth to speak, compel my body to move, but nothing happened. The numbness spread through me again, and suddenly, I wasn't trying to do anything at all.

Sam stood up and looked at me on the floor. He reached an arm out and took a step forward. "Baby, please, let me hel-"

Before he could take another step, my fear overrode my disassociation and I managed to choke out one word. "Izroul."

Damien appeared in a flash of light, and quickly turned around, taking in the strange scene he'd been called to. His eyes cast around the room, before they seemed to focus on me on the floor and he ran towards me, hitting his knees and wrapping his arms around me. He tried to get me to look at him, but I couldn't seem to focus my eyes. They just rolled away and stared at nothing. That was okay, though.

Anything was okay.

Still looking at me, Damien shook his head. "Her head is all fog. She's retreated out of her mind right now." He turned to face his brother. "Sam, what happened?"

Sam found his throat closed up, finding it impossible to speak. He quickly replayed what he could recall in his head, but already the memories were blurry. Parts were black, and he had slipped into the aura of a rage demon in a battle, leaving everything tinted red.

Damien gasped, disbelief all over his face. "You used fear enthrallment on her?!?!"

That broke Sam right out of his speechlessness, like a bucket of ice water. "No, I fucking didn't! I don't even know how to use that, I don't even know if I have that!" Sam ran his hands through his hair and started pacing.

Damien practically hissed. "You do have it, even if you don't know it, and I'm not sure if that makes this better or worse."

I knew they were talking, and I knew they were talking about me. But I was somewhere else, still there but not; nothing mattered. Just blank, just numb. That was okay.

Damien focused his eyes back on me. "She's gone deep, and I have no idea how to pull her out of it. Mika, can you hear me?"

He ran his hand down my cheek, and I absentmindedly noticed it. It was a tug back into my body, an option. I ignored it.

Sam stopped pacing and took a step towards us. Damien raised his hand and looked at Sam with anger and sadness fighting for dominance in his eyes.

"No. You've done enough."

Sam stopped as if he'd been struck. Damien looked down at me again, still cradling me on the kitchen floor. "You want to help, Sam? Go summon our brothers and tell them what you did. I need help and apparently, so do you."

Sam's face was full of grief and self-loathing as he turned and left the room. He had to trust Damien to keep her safe for now, had to figure out what the hell had just happened. He had never, in his life, used fear enthrallment. He didn't even know what it felt like. And the only person he used it on, even if he didn't know he was using it, was the person he wanted to protect the most. He closed his eyes and summoned his brothers.