The Fire in the Monster

Incinerator

Slowly, my tears dried up and Damien asked me if I was ready to talk about what happened. When I nodded, he told me everything.

He told me about fear enthrallment, and how it was something Sam couldn't control the first time it manifested. How anxious Sam was after, how afraid; how he thought I'd never forgive him. Damien told me about the disassociation and how when they couldn't bring me out of it, they lay me down with Eric. How they hoped my state would be close enough to a dream that Eric could find me. I asked a few clarifying questions and he answered all of them.

He asked if I wanted him to stay with me but I told him I didn't. I knew who I needed now, and as much as I loved Damien, he wasn't the Demon I who I had to see.

I hugged him and told him to tell his other brothers they should leave as well, go home and get some rest. The last thing I asked was where Sam was. Damien smiled at me gently as he told me Sam was on the roof.

I walked towards the open window and sat on the window sill, holding the upper half of my body out and placing my hands on the shingles. "Sam? Help me up please."

I heard the roof groan and his hands grabbed my forearms, hauling me up. He held onto me long enough to get me seated before he let go and sat down a little further away than he normally would. We simply existed in silence for a while, just letting our emotions settle and watching the stars.

I had thought to let him talk first, but honestly, I was never the most patient person. I reached out and grabbed his hand to ensure I wouldn't fall. He looked at me curiously and let out a surprised "oof" as I rolled myself on top of him, straddling his hips. His body was rigid and he seemed unsure, so I took both of his hands and placed them on my hips. I brushed my lips against his and he relaxed slightly below me, studying my face.

Sam ran a hand down my cheek and frowned lightly. "Do you remember when you came up here with me after training and you asked if I needed energy?"

I smiled wistfully at the memory. "I do. I was so nervous, I remember."

Sam reached up and kissed my jaw, before settling back down. "That was before all the shit, you know? Before Malix, before Andrew was something more than a friend, before Diana, and the Demon War. I wonder how things would be different if I had told you then how I felt about you."

I looked at him and nodded thoughtfully. "I don't know. That seems like a different world, honestly."

He sighed. "Yeah, I know."

He moved his hands to cradle my face and I leaned into his palm. His face held so much anguish and it broke my heart. "I am so fucking sorry, Doofus. I am, I didn't mean to do that. I have no idea what happened! I can't stand it, I can't handle that I hurt you and I am- ...just so sorry."

One tear slid down his face and I kissed it. "Sam, it's okay. No really, it is. You were just as much a victim of this as I was, okay? You didn't know you were doing it or even that you could, but we'll figure it out together, like everything else."

I took a big breath before continuing. "And speaking about things we have to figure out, I have something we need to talk about. I wish it could wait but, it's the whole reason Raphael was here and I have to give him an answer in the morning."

Sam looked up to my face. "Tell me."

I sighed and closed my eyes. "He told me that from the Nephilim perspective, husband and wife are bound to each other and responsible for each other's debts. I told him that humans say till death do us part, but he said by demon standards, by angelic standards, we were still bound. That they hold a human marriage to be a continual binding, unless one of the parties does an actual soul binding, but that we don't have enough magic to do that here anyway."

I could feel Sam's hands shaking, but I kept my eyes shut and kept going. I refused to let what happened earlier make me afraid. It wasn't his fault and I had to put a stop to any reaction like that immediately. Not to would be far too cruel and I loved him way too much for that.

"I told him that they hadn't made good on their half of the deal and now Andrew was dead so... but he told me 'he still has enough body to use and they can make sure there is just enough life to get his seed to take root.' So basically, they will make good on the deal to get whatever Andrew promised them."

"That's not going to fucking happen, I'll tell you that," he said through clenched teeth.

"Oh trust me, I'm with you on that. Which is why Raphael wants to take me to see his boss and negotiate a new price. He says it's different for everyone, but basically if I pay up whatever it is his boss wants, then the deal Andrew made will get scrapped."

Finally, I opened one eye and risked a glance at Sam. His face was red and he looked like he might explode at any minute. "Sam?"

He looked away to the side and I could hear him panting. "Sam, what are you doing?!?!"

He was shaking, fists clenched, rage almost coming through the pores on his skin. Then it hit me. 'He doesn't want to show how angry he is because he doesn't want to scare me again.'

But at this rate, he was going to have a heart attack, if demons even could have heart attacks, and I needed him to stop trying to shove it down.

"Sam, it's okay-"

"Sam, I'm not scared-"

"Sam- ...Aw, fuck it."

I turned his head and smashed my lips against his, grinding down on his lap. I heard a gasp of surprise beneath me, but I kept going, kissing him feverishly, pushing myself against him, pulling all that energy from rage into sex.

For a short few seconds, he kept his hands clenched, body rigid, and his lips didn't move. Then he let out a moan that sounded like pain and flipped me onto my back.

Suddenly his hands were everywhere, on my cheeks, on my breasts, down my sides. He cupped my ass, rubbed me against the length of him straining the zipper of his pants. He chased every moan and sigh, took them higher, and demanded more. Sam was in a frenzy, focusing every ounce of himself on wringing pleasure from my body, and I was very much on board with his plan.

With a loud rip my jeans came off and he was between my legs. Licking, sucking, biting (oh my god the biting) and he slowed down just long enough the slide two fingers inside me before he picked back up his feverish pace.

He licked at my clit, and I wondered briefly in my stupor of pleasure if he was moving faster than a human could. He drug screams from me with was no slow build up, just almost painful euphoria balanced on a knife's edge. My first orgasm ripped through me with enough force to arch my back off the roof.

Sam groaned as my body squeezed his fingers but he never gave me a moment to come down and after the fourth there was no time in between them and I was whimpering and begging. Neither of us could tell what I was begging for.

When he finally kissed back up my body, grinning like a cat in a sunspot, the only thing I could manage was panting and the most pathetic, even to my ears, plaintive cries of 'please.'

I was hardly a solid being at the moment, every limb felt like liquid, but I managed to let out another entreaty while reaching towards the button on his pants. Not that I had the dexterity to unbutton them, but he got the idea.

It was only when he was seated at my entrance, ready to push in, that he started an enthrallment. Vaguely in the back of my mind I was thankful he waited because if he did what he was doing a moment ago with enthrallment, I doubt I would have survived it.

As he slid into me, I moaned deep in my chest and everything was on fire in all of the best ways and he fucked me soooo slow. His thrusts were steady, drawing this part out, kissing me languidly, hands caressing every part of me. Sam told me he loved me over and over, while I made incomprehensible needy sounds and gripped him to me; needing him deeper, wanting more of him inside me than would ever be possible.

When he finally came, I was so relaxed I actually thought he might fuck me into unconsciousness. His moan as he hit his climax brought me the slightest bit back to reality and as he kissed me sweetly, I managed to kiss him back for a moment.

Then I fell asleep on the roof, with him still inside me, and the heavens looking down on us.