Logicality Fluff: How We Grew Up

Chapter Three, You Got No Jams

(shoutout to anyone who gets the reference!)

I sat in my room with a copy of Les Miserables, pondering how unfortunate it was that such a fine piece of literature was turned into a ridiculous play with literally nothing but unnecessary singing, when I heard a knock at my door. "Go away, Roman. I'm very occupied at the moment." I said, but all I got was a goofy chuckle form the other side. Definitely not Roman."You don't even have time to spend with your old man?" I sighed and opened the door. "Hello, Morality." 

Morality stood with a wide smile and crooked glasses. His hair was still a messy mop of blonde (though as we got older, it became darker and darker), and his clothes were wrinkled terribly. "Did you just wake up or something?" I asked. Morality giggled, which was slightly more charming than I would have expected (slightly). "No, silly! Thomas and I have been up all night! Anywhose, here!" Morality pulled something form behind his back, which revealed a plate of biscuits, with a jar of raspberry jelly in the middle. "I made these for you!"

I picked up one of the biscuits and rolled my thumb across the surface. I then looked at the container of jam. "Doesn't Thomas...I mean, don't we hate jam?" Morality gasped. "Logic! I'm surprised! Hate is such a strong word, you know! But anyways, yes! But this is different!" He picked up the jar and held in front of my face. "This is the most magical thing I have ever tasted in my entire life! It's so good that I ate two jars of the stuff with nothing but a spoon in ten minutes!" I cringed at that. "Dad, that can't be good for you-"

"-And it's organic! Try some!" He held the monstrosity closer to my face. "I will not eat something so unhealthy just because you said it tastes 'magical', or whatever."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No!"

"Pretty please with jelly on top?" I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "No. Thank. You." and closed the door.

Okay, that might have been a little harsh, but you have to understand my perspective. I was reading one of the biggest classics in the entire world and thinking about how musicals are a disgrace to the very nature of the human being. You can just interrupt me in a situation like that! I mean, if you were watching one of your favorite movies, and just at the most climatic scene, your sibling just decides to run in and say "Here!" and shove a jar of jelly in your face, you'd be mad to, right? 

Ugh! Why am I the only normal one here?

I sat down on my couch and sighed. I then felt the uncomfortable feeling of crumbs fall in between my fingers. I hadn't even realized that I was still holding the Biscuit in my hands. I examined it for a second. "Is it..." I then tapped in against the table in front of me, making a hard sound like a rock on marble. I sighed. "It is." Another knock came at my door. 

"Logiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic!" I fell back onto the couch. Incredible vocal range, loud obnoxious voice? That must be Roman. "Roman, I am not trying that unnecessary spread!"

"Please?! Oh, Logic, you don't understand! It's so sweet...and pure...and it makes me want to sing!" He breathed in. "Do not start singing you shortsighted swine, or I will never eat your jam!" The hall became silent. I exhaled in relief, and picked up my paperback novel.

"You won't eat it...if I sing?" his voice was so small, I almost didn't recognize it. "Correct."

"Well...what if...I stay quiet...for three weeks...no songs...and if I succeed (which I will)...then you have to have some of the jelly. Deal?" Now, that was tempting. A silent Roman. How peaceful the world would be if all our Romans were silent! I walked back over to the door, opening only wide enough to see my face. "Okay, fine. Three weeks! Not one word! Got it?" Roman nodded enthusiastically. "Good. This should be interesting..."