The Months You Never Knew

Apologies Aren't That Easy, Sweetheart | Chapter 5

"What is it?" I said, clearly agitated, but he continued with whatever he wanted from me.

See, ever since Jan's birthday, we haven't had a proper talk. The last one we had was right before I was gonna time travel after we went to the Haiwosoda Woods. I'm not sure what the hell he could've wanted from me, but he wanted something. Otherwise, he never would've called me here. I know he wouldn't have.

"I think you know what I want." He spoke with a flat tone, almost completely monotone if it weren't for the undertone of anxiety in his voice. "You're making this sound like the beginning of a lemon, you idiot. What do you frickin want?!" I say to him, rolling my eyes and raising my voice in the process.

I could feel my face getting warmer in the process, out of anger. He's dragged me all the way out here and won't even tell me why. I feel like he's dragging this out on purpose... he's scared.

"I.. I want y-you to..." he's stammering...

"SPIT IT OUT!!!" I'm screaming now. He's pissing me off to a point where that 'embarrassing' (as he phrased it) little quirk of mine is activating and my ears are giving off tiny flames.

"May, I want you to forgive me for what I did and erase any blackmail you have on me!!" He said quickly, clearly out of anxiety. He got scared from my yelling... typical.

What he said caught me off guard, and my eyes widened in the process. Why did he want that all of a sudden?! If he's talking about what I think he's talking about...

"No."

I spoke flatly and calmly, teleporting to the Woods before he could respond. I need to clear my head... but it's not that easy....

The memories are flooding back in...

[Jan's POV]

Dammit..

I watched her evaporate, teleporting to God-Knows-Where. I knew I shouldn't have asked that. Even I can't forgive myself for what I did. Not only to her. To everyone.

It's... it's fine.

She can take as much time as she needs.

She's brave.

I can't believe she went from the... 'weak, pathetic, hot headed bitch' she was before to the brave, hard ass she is now.

I clenched my fists at the thought of the person who once said that to her, and made her feel that way. The way they made everyone feel.

[May's POV]

I want to go back and stop it all from happening.. but it happened for a reason and I can't fuck with it, as much as I want to. I know that if I do, the present would be incredibly different and who knows what everything would be like now?! Plus, there's no point in doing it... I'd still have memories. Complete memories of everything that occurred. But... nobody else would... and... that might save a few of them from things they might be going through now, and—

Shit.. I didn't realize how far I walked. Even I'm lost now. And I come in these Woods everyday!! I'm too lazy to make a mark on a tree, though, so I know I've been here before. I just looked around, made a mental note of where I might've been in the Woods, sighed defeated, and teleported to my room.

I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I thought about everything that happened. I think about many things, many words. Many words that once had a powerful impact on me, many words that once made me cry, many words that once made me want to hurt other people...

...

... or myself. Wasn't like I never attem—

Gah!! Stop thinking about it!! I slapped my forehead hard enough for it to be red. I got up quickly and sat down on the stool for my piano, and started playing a few of my favourite anime openings. Specifically, Boku No Hero Academia op2, Assassination Classroom op4, and One Piece op1.