Two days went by. John was sick, so was Mackenzie but she has been like that for at long time. I missed John, he was down with the flu. Mackenzie was sleeping as I went off to school. The weather was good so I turned down my father's ride to school. I was focused not to think about, Mackenzie's trip to the hospital. With my iPod turned on high, a walk to school is nothing. It's Friday who can hate Fridays? I walked in my own thoughts, not knowing that I was being followed. I first noticed it when the shadows turned and came in front of us. I tilted my head of confusion, who the hell would be following a school girl, other than a rapist. If it was a rapist, wouldn't he already had jumped at me? I turned around so I could get an answer to who the hell was following me. To my surprise it was a good friend, very good, John. I smiled at him unable to speak because of the music in my ears. John spoke but the only thing I saw and heard was a mouth moving. I quickly pulled out my earplugs and excused myself.
"Hi..." John said, he pulled the i long. I could easily hear that he still had some sickness in his body. He looked fine, if I didn't knew he had been sick then I wouldn't notice it. He still looked amazingly good, still a hotty as some of the girls in the halls had been saying.
"Hi... I've" what? What's happening, I'm not supposed to say that, stop brain stop. "Missed..." Don't say it, don't you dare! Why aren't you listening? "You..." Okay that's it smile you can only smile now. I drew a smile and tried slipping by the words that had just slipped my lips. John didn't say anything he just smiled and laughed a little. We didn't say anymore to each other, we just started walking again.
Throughout the fist classes the teachers took me out for a "talk" as they called it. They wanted to talk to me about Mackenzie and how I felt about it and I just had to say if I couldn't handle school. Why do they do this now, when Mackenzie was diagnosed they didn't come talk to me, only the principal. Every teacher got the same message from me; I'm not feeling super happy about it, but I neither feel sad. If or when the time comes I might not be in school (Suprise!) and then you guys won't be the biggest help. Thank you for your concern. Everything said with a dead tone not to reveal myself. I don't wanna show people how I really feel, maybe the friends but not anyone else, for sure not dad or Mackenzie. As much I wish Mackenzie lives, just as much I wish she would die fast so she won't be in pain. I feel so bad when I have to say it like that, but that's how I feel and think.
This Friday could have been better, much. It started fine but with all these pep talks about me and my feelings about Mackenzie's sickness. I could clearly feel a change in life today, not that I hadn't expected it. I just think that I thought I might have some more time before everyone would start this show. The only person who wasn't bothering me with my sisters sickness was John. John understood my anger against this show and people trying to say they understood me and my feelings. No one knows anything about this no one knows, only Mackenzie, dad and I no one else. We're living with this, and have been living with this for way too long.
John was keeping his distance when someone came close and wanted to talk about how they felt and how they thought I felt. As I stood at my locker getting my books in order someone poke my shoulder. A weak finger, poke my shoulder I knew what that poke brought with it. I turned around and sure enough a student that I've never talked to before stood in front of me.
"I feel so sorry for you... I can't imagine how hard it must be for your family..." I don't know what happened but I just had enough. I couldn't stand people I didn't know was talking to me about things that was none of their business. I just snapped at this poor guy who just pushed the wrong button.
"Who the fuck are you!? Who do you think you are? Don't you think I'm broke already? Don't you have a heart or a brain!?" My eyes watered as a spoke. I spoke loud and clearly. The tears was so close to falling down my face. I didn't want to cry in front of this stupid guy. John had moved closer and was standing just a few steps behind me. The tears won the fight, one slipped through and rolled down my chin. I couldn't keep it back, I just let them fall down my face. The poor and stupid guy was standing speechless in front of me as I stood staring at him angrily. If it wasn't because of the tears I would have seemed scary. John said something to the guy who apparently had no sense of time or anything.
