I can feel the emotions rising inside of me. The heat and emotions of love boiling and overflowing with joy. I can't help but to look up and smile the way he feels, his hands, so warm. He places his hand on my cheek and leans foward with a gentle kiss just so amazing. I don't know what to do this has never happened, I always have been able to hold back but this time I can't, it's different. He is mine, he won't leave me. He loves me. I have never been this way before.
He whispers my name and wraps his smooth arms around my thin waist. Bites my bottom lip and smiles. Pecks my lips and tells me he loves me assuringly. I smile continuing to I nod my head with him. I look at him and tell him how I feel, how strong this love I have for him is. As he promises he won't break my heart, touching his chest with mine he grabs a tighter hold of me and says it one more time. "I love you."
I say it back. I hate saying it. I hate it, it makes me that much weaker. When I say it I am scared I don't want another broken heart it's too hard to replace my heart. I want to go back in time, take it back until I know for sure whether I am safe and won't get hurt. I can't. Damn it. What do I do?
He looks at me and smiles. Surprised I said it he kisses me and tells me he wont hurt me and I am okay. For some odd reason I believe him. I really do. I mean I don't want to, I want to actually wait to see how this works out and see how far we will be last, but it won't work as I planned. Once again.
"I can't believe it," he says. "I really don't, you told me you loved me and the look on your face tells me something else. Something is wrong. What is it really? I have given you everything you want. I don't get you! You know what? I am sick of this crap! You finally say "I love you" to me. Then you give me this look like I am going to hurt you, and then you act like you can't trust me! If you don't love me tell me! Okay? Is that so damn difficult to ask?!"
"Look I am sorry, okay?" Why am I apologizing? He's the jerk! "Please one more chance I am really sorry!" -Why? Why did I apologize?
"Why? So you can just let me down again? Is there really something wrong with me?"
"No." I can't tell him. I can't, he's going to get madder. I am scared I don't know what to say. What do I do? I want to go cry I feel terrible. I can't tell him.
"Just fuck off!"
