stormclouds, dust, and a little bit of rain

a missing piece

i can't find out why

you keep killing me

ive died

ive been dead

you keep killing me

i don't think you know you are

but it does

absolutely kill me

i feel life leave my body every time you say you've cried

you cried and you didn't turn to me

i feel my limbs freeze and then crumble as you apologize for saying so

you know i feel everything a little too intensely

i apologize for not knowing, for breaking skin, for reaching out at the wrong moments

sometimes i wish we could switch places for a day

i just want you to be safe

who needs safety when their queen is okay?

i know i don't 

i don't think your realize how much more i feel the less you tell me

because i fill in the gaps with lies

everything has been a lie lately

there's a missing piece of me somewhere under your skin

i know you say you don't want it

how does someone refuse a piece of another someone?

but maybe i'm not a someone at all

maybe that's why you can't speak 

maybe that's why i've stopped

i really can't control myself and you have to remind me to reel myself back in

you know my self control is tied to me with a snapping string

i give you more pieces of myself until the missing piece is me, lost from the things i have given you

so i'll give you that too until you don't want it anymore

then i'll let it go

give it to god

and pray that the next person to give you their pieces values you half as much as i did

you know i did too much

my missing pieces will stand idly in the waiting room of the lord

i'll wait for you

even though you don't remember me

i'm a missing piece of your memory