A Shrek In Time

Shrek paused.  He felt his legs shaking, the blood rushing to his orge head.  He could barely hold himself up as he stared at the horrifying image in front of his green face.  Donkey. Donkey’s mutilated body lay on Shrek’s rug.  Blood was everywhere.  Donkey was everywhere.  Shrek could barely comprehend the image which we saw right now.  Until he turned around, and he understood.  He saw Marty McFly, the bastard child, the Demon spawn, holding his equine friend’s head in his greasy palms.  Marty let out a cackle.

“Cackle” laughed the Marty.

Shrek felt his anger boil, and his blood pump.  His ogre ears rang as he became angry at the site of the image.  His loins flundered.  

A burst of light happened.  A Delorean appeared, and Marty jumped into said vehicle.  Shrek knew what he had to do.  He had to avenge Donkey’s death.  He had to save the world. He had to save himself.  He had to Shrek. In time.

Shrek let out an ogrey roar as pillars of fire burst around him.

“I’m gonna Shrek it” Shrek shreked while he shreked.

Time and space distorted.  Nothing was real. God was dead.  

Shrek traveled back in time.  He traveled to 1985.

“Well Marty I’d say that was some damn good science we did today.” the treacherous Doc Brown chuckled to his stead Marty.

Marty agreed with him cuz he’s a bitch like that.

Suddenly the atmosphere around the lab of science burst into glorious flames.  Marty screamed. Doc cried.  Einstein felt the glow warmth of Shrek.  The dog was indeed right.  Shrek descended down upon the rubble of Doc Brown’s creation.  Marty continued his scream of agony as his eye balls melted from his puny face.  Doc watched helplessly as his little minion was trapped in the battle which was Skrek.  And Marty would not win this mighty war.

Shrek’s hands graciously propped against his wide hips as he descended upon the human earth. He let out a mighty roar as he grabbed the frightened Marty.  Marty’s blindness began to drive him mad, and his face contorted into a grotesque display of Shrek’s power.  

Shrek held the screaming Marty, held him closely.  Softly Shrek whispered into the boy’s ear, comforting him like the beautiful ogre he is.

“It’s all ogre now” Shrek quietly whispered into the ear of Marty. Marty became calm.  He feels the warm girth of Shrek’s bosom and for the first time in his life understood true love. Marty became truly happy.  And with that in one mighty jowl Shrek snaps the neck of Marty Mcfly in one gracious motion.  

Doc Brown cried out at the sight of Shrek’s majesty.  His knees buckled as he could not comprehend the images which he sees.  Marty’s lifeless body falls to the floor.  Shrek glides over to the mad scientist.  

Doc Brown raised his arm in defense, prepared for the fate of which is to come but to much of a coward to accept it.  

“Please, Shrek” Doc Brown says. “I’m pregnant”

“I know” Shrek says. “The baby is mine”

Doc looks in horror into Shrek’s eyes, but understands that an ogres eye’s show only truth. Doc looks down at his stomach, and sees a small green hand coming out of his belly.  Doc Brown explodes.

Shrek looks at the burst carcass of his former adversary.  He lets out a single ogre tear.  Then in one mighty bowl movement, absolutely shits everywhere.

Shrek is Dreck.

The End