Cody
The hospital room is cold as I sit waiting for the doctor to return with my prescription papers. My mom thought it was a good idea that I got checked; for depression. I rolled my eyes when she told me she had made this appointment. I mean, I'm just going through something right now, it's not like I lay in bed thinking about suicide.
"Honey, c'mon," my mom says, placing her hand on my knee from where she sits beside the hospital bed I'm currently sitting on, "This is going to be great. You'll get out more and maybe you and I can make plans to hit the gym together once a week?" I scoff.
"Mom, I'm fine," I try to convince her again but she doesn't buy it. Instead, she pouts her lips.
"Cody baby, your heart is in pain and as your mother —"
"Mom!" I snap, putting my head in my hands in frustration, "I am okay. I'm going through my own thing right now and I don't need your help, or anyone's help, or the help of a pill for God's sake. I'll work things out in my head and I'll go back to being good at baseball and I'll move on to college and I'll be fine. Just let me do it myself."
"Let me help you, please," she begs, tears brimming her eyes, "My heart hurts seeing you like this, Cody. I need to do everything I can to make your troubles go away and there's absolutely nothing you can do to stop me from trying to take care of you. You are my son. I signed up for this when the thought of having you even came into my mind and even more so when you were just a fetus inside my tummy eighteen years ago. I love you so much, and no matter how old you may get I will always see you as my little boy. I need you to know that, and understand where I'm coming from as your mother."
"I love you, Ma. Of course I know that," I sigh, "I just — I feel so empty, and I can't tell anyone anything, and there's no way I'm gonna let my mom take care of me and my problems anymore —"
"Hold it right there," she stands up to hug me, then pulls away and says, "I'm always going to be there to take care of you and help you with your problems. That is what a mother is supposed to do, that's part of a mother's job. Until the day I can no longer be with you, I will take care of you. That's a promise. Understood?" I stay silent for a second, looking down at the cold, white tile floor to keep my mom from seeing my eyes brim with tears. Until she tilts my head up, but I refuse eye contact still.
"Look at me, baby," she tells me, and I give in, "I'm the one woman you shouldn't be afraid to cry in front of."
"I'm not afraid to cry," I deny, "I'm just not a—" She holds a finger against my lips to stop me from talking again.
"Language," she scolds, and I breathe out a laugh as the doctor walks in with her clipboard in hand.
"You're all set to go, Mr. Davidson," the little old lady smiles up at me, "Your prescription was sent in and should be ready in about a half hour to forty-five minutes." She hands me the paperwork and prescriptions, and I hand them to my mom.
"Oh! Doctor," my mom gets her attention again, "you said it would take how long to kick in after he starts taking it?"
"Just a few weeks, but some patients say they've experienced change even sooner."
"Okay, and one after eating breakfast every morning?" Mom continues to question. The doctor nods her head, hands behind her back.
"Yes, ma'am," she tells my mom to which she nods her head and allows the doctor to tend to her next patient, showing my mom and I out to the waiting room on her way.
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2/21
My mom continues to be my hero.
The one woman I shouldn't be afraid to cry in front of.
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I had a long talk with my mom after we'd left the hospital about what's been going on. I told her about Adeline, and Fiona, and I informed her about the emptiness I feel in my chest. She cried of course, being the emotional person she is and always has been.
"Hey big brother," my younger sister, Monica, walks into my room, without even a knock, and sits herself down on the edge of my bed beside where I was laying.
"A knock would have been nice, don't you think?" I respond sarcastically, "I could have been naked." She rolls her eyes and makes a disgusted face.
"But you weren't," she points out, causing me to roll my eyes this time as I toss my baseball into the air and catch it once it comes back down, "Mom told me to come up and say something to you before I leave." I stop tossing the baseball and look at her.
"Where are you going?" I ask.
"Out," she answers simply.
"With?" I continue to pry. She just pushes my shoulder lightly, which tells me all I needed to know.
"None of your business, dork," Monica laughs. I know she's going out with her no good boyfriend, or whatever the hell he is, and I know she knows that I don't like him whatsoever. She stands up from where she sat, "I'll see you when I get home."
Before she can walk out the door, I stop her, "Hey Monica."
"What's up?" She turns.
"Tell Adam I'll kick his ass."
She only rolls her eyes, a small smile on her face, as she leaves my bedroom, leaving me alone to sulk in silence once again.
