Pulling an all-nighter wasn't unusual for me. I normally waited until my dad went to sleep at around 1AM before leaving a post-it note on his office computer:
Went to go practice with some friends in the early morning. Ill be back at 6. Love you ~ Cam.
I preferred the term "Cam" over "Camilla." I can't explain why, it just felt right.
Every night, I biked to the empty field near my house, only a few minutes away. It was a place where I could clear my head, and dream for a while. Lying on the cold grass, staring up at all the stars, I thought about my conversation with Spencer earlier.
'She's so into you' he said. Those words echoed in my head. In a way, I sorta knew it too. Spencer has had plenty of girlfriends and boyfriends, but he doesn't like to be called 'bi' or 'gay'. He never liked labels, and I was beginning to see why.
Its as if when someone gives you a label, you feel like you must live up to it. Like you're going to let people down by not meeting their expectations. It makes you feel like a disappointment when you end up differently than everyone expects. Sometimes, I wish for solitude - away from cities, towns, people, away from everything. Where I don't have to be what I'm not.
There's many reasons why I haven't come out yet. I'm not scared of what they think, honestly I could care less, but I just haven't figured it out yet. Sure, I like girls, but that's really all I know about myself. I'm still young - only 17, starting 12 grade, all I need is some times to figure myself out.
I sighed, breathing in the fresh air. Vancouver was beautiful at night. The sky was clear, unlike the States, where light pollution covered all the stars. It was quiet, the only sound you would hear were the crickets chirping. The trees were tall. So tall, in fact, Spencer and I used to pretend they were giants conquering the Earth, and that we were on a mission to stop them. We would play in this field for hours, until his uncle would call in inside for lunch.
Spenc's uncle - oh man. I haven't thought about him in years. Richard passed away right before the 6th grade, and I remember Spencer wouldn't talk to me for half that year. We called that The Unspeakable Year, because I'm not allowed to bring it up to him. I knew Spencer had such a strong bond with his uncle. Though he was a heavy drinker, Spencer loved him regardless - flaw and all. His family saw Richard as an irresponsible guy, but Spencer saw him as his hero. It cut him badly when he died. I knew, deep down in my heart, that Spencer never healed from that. Ghost hunting is like his escape - its an escape for all of us, actually. Jackie, Brendon, Spencer and I all have our weaknesses, but as long as we had each other, we were okay.
I checked my watch - 3:42AM - I could take a nap, just for a little bit...
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The orange sun peeked over the horizon, shining on my face, as I slowly lifted my heavy eyelids..."Eugh, how di- HOLY HADES!"
I screached, jerking myself up from the ground, desperately trying to fix my hair. Above me was a smiley Bree, her eyes drifting from my messy hair to my shocked expression. She stifled a giggle.
"Morning, fruit loop." She purred. "I was just walking by, and happened to notice you sleeping," she paused, leaning down to my level, "and I'm quite glad I stopped by." She smiled, tilting her head a bit so her long hair fell onto my lap. God, why was she so perfect.
"Ho-how long have y-you been, uh st-tanding there?" I managed to stutter, probably blushing like a fool.
"Oh, only a few minutes." She spoke softly. "You do snore when you sleep, though." She added, hiding a smirk.
YOU ARE READING
She
Teen FictionCamilla Blair is lost. Entering 12th grade was supposed to be exciting. She was supposed to have her life figured out by now. She was supposed to have perfect grades, just like her father. She was supposed to be a star on stage, just like her mother...