only I can see.

Chapter eleven

When Gabby wakes up again she's laid down in a bed. But the mattress isn't soft like her own and the pillow isn't fluffy either. She doesn't need to open her eyes to connect the distinct smell of sanitizer to the hospital. She opens her eyes anyways to look at all the white around her. White blanket, walls, chairs. For a moment she fears they may have taken her to mental institution, but she isn't strapped to the bed and there's a window and a balcony across from the door, so no. Hospital it is.

She jumps a little in her bed when the door opens and a nurse comes walking in.

"You're awake," she notes with a smile. "Good, there's two people outside who want to visit you."

Gabby doesn't answer and only nods lightly when she looks at her hesitantly. She doesn't want to get her hopes up and wish for Zayn to come visit her, but she's disappointed nevertheless when the doors opens again after the nurse had left and Perrie and Niall walk in. It's logical she tells herself. She probably couldn't even see Zayn. That though makes her want to vomit her brain out. Her brain, not the stupid tumor.

"Hey," Niall says quietly, pulling Gabby back into reality.

"Hi," Gabby greets, feeling defeated. She wonders whether Liam asked Niall and Perrie to come and talk to her.

The two stand hesitantly by the door, sharing a glance.

"Come in, sit down. I'm normal," Gabby says almost annoyed and waves them over. "He's not here if that's what you're worried about." They don't reply, but Gabby can see Niall let out a breath and Perrie takes two steps forwards to plop down in a seat. It's silent again for a moment and the all share a look.

"So," Niall prompts after a while and Gabby takes a deep breath.

"So apparently I've been fucking thin air." Perrie laughs at that and Niall cracks a smile and Gabby is happy to break the tension.

"No, but seriously," Perrie says after a moment. "Your mom only said that.. you have, um, hallucinations?" The looks she gives Gabby is just about as desperate and helpless as Gabby feels.

"Yeah, I don't know," she says with a shrug. "I-yeah. Apparently that's the reason you never met him. It's just-It's so weird, you know," she continues. "We were out together and He took me to the movie and to get food and.. to think that he was never actually there," her voice breaks a little and Niall scoots closer to grab her hand "I mean-what-what would people think? I'm, I'm buying food for my imaginary friend and then I talk to... nothing. I'm just-I'm not crazy."

"No, you're not," Perrie says calmly, scooting closer as well. "We don't think you are. And we're sorry about...Zayn."

"Yeah," Niall agrees. "We would love to, you know, meet him. If we could," he adds quickly and awkwardly, giving Gabby a crooked grin.

"It's okay," Gabby tells him. "I know it's super odd." Niall grins.

"Do you wanna, like, talk about it?" Perrie,offers and Gabby smiles sadly.

"Don't I talk about him all the time?"

"Yeah, but. You could tell us what he looks like?"

And Gabby wants to cry when Perrie says that. Not because she's sad or because she hasn't seen Zayn since she's been to the hospital and fears that they have taken the tumor out already without asking her first. It makes her want to cry, because her friends are such good friends and for God's sake she's dating some dude her fucked up brain has come up with and they still wanna meet him.

Gabby sniffles a bit. "He-he is talk. Taller than me, but so strong. And he has those lovely brown eyes and really soft soft hair. It's brownish black And spiky. He has a really nice chest and- and-" she chuckles through her tears "a really juicy behind. Don't tell him I said that," she adds and then she realizes how absurd the whole situation is and more tears roll down her cheeks as she keeps laughing.