Feeling sessions (Destiel)

Six. Empty colours

Hiyaaa loves! How're are you? Look how far we've come....second last chapter (as I told you I only do stories of 6-7 chapters so yeah.) let's get this done!
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"I hate colours. You think asking me about stupid colours is going to fix this?"
Cas snaps at me. My coffee spills on my tuxedo. "The hell Cas?" I scream. I stand up and run to the kitchen sink, but before I could reach the door handle, it gets locked. I make an attempt to break the door but Cas seems to have permanently nailed the door with wooden planks.
"What's gotten into you? Oh...maybe lucifer-" "Stop it. Dean." He scowls. Jeez okay then. I put my hands in the air as to surrender.
"Cas...why are you so modest today?"
Cas quickly averts his his from mine as I question him. He suddenly unlocks the kitchen door, and signs towards me to put my hands down.
I slowly start to walk over to him, "Cas-" he turns around with his eyes watery "Go away Dean Winchester!"
"Okay" I simply mumble.
Abruptly, his facial expressions soften as he starts to run away realising what he just said. "Dean...tell Sam I died" and rushes out the door.
"Wait-Castiel!" I get up from my chair but I keep going backwards. Ugh I wish Cas couldn't make people refrain from doing something. I slump down my chair. I shouldn't have done these 'sessions'.
"F**k!!!"
I throw my phone on the floor. I can't call him, I can't do anything!?! This is my fault. I sit down on the floor. I lost grace.
A week later.
I lost Castiel. And there I thought I hated life. "I'm a SPOILED BRAT!" I pull my hair. I try to contact him from praying. I try to contact him from Sammy's phone. I texted him. Went to apocalyptic world to find you. I contacted Gabriel and he was even asking me where Cas went.
Currently I'm walking around circles.
"Dude...calm down. Don't worry jack is on the search for Cas but...as for You...you haven't eaten in the past three days!" Sam knocks on my door. I scoff "F**k off." I hear a groan from the other side of the door.
"Okay...But at-least open the door?" He sighs. I roll my eyes as I unlock the door.
Sam comes barging in. "Um...I brought you food-" "Ugh. Sam how many-" "But you could die-" "No. Sam." I sternly say which finally makes him shut up.
"But one bite? And for Castiel?" He makes puppy eyes. I fake smile and take the plate of food...and throw it on his face. "Dean What the f-" "That's the door...Get out" I point towards my door.
A month later.
I hear a knock on the door. "Come...in." I sleepily say. Haven't properly slept in a while now. Sam slowly comes in. "Um Dean-Wait...why are you sleeping on Castiel's trench...coat?" A minute passes...I don't respond.
"Dean..." I wake up, and suddenly jolt upwards holding a gun "Huh? Are you the killer of Cas? Cause you will DIE" I threaten him.
Sam looks at me puzzled. "Uh...are you high? Or just tired?"
"Both" i hurriedly speak as I start to run in circles.
"O...Kay...I'll be going now-" "Did you find him?" "Huh? Um...no. But! Gabriel is also finally agreeing to help us from Uh...heaven...and jack is um...Uh yeah...so" he stutters.
I stand up.
"I needed Cas...back by a month! You didn't even...You motherf-" I yell at him.
"Sorry"
"Get. Out." I emphasise on the words get out.
He rushes out of the door. I rub my eyes...Please come back Cas...you trench-coat baby...We need you.
5 months later.
I hate colours. They make life so complicated. I can't even separate them to the extent that I have to go blind.
I hate green. It represents being possessive and materialistic, indifferent and over-cautious, envious, selfish, greedy and miserly, devious with money, inconsiderate, inexperienced.
I hate brown. It represents being dull, boring, frugal, materialistic, lack of humor, lack of sophistication, predictable, cheap and stingy.
I hate blue. It represents being rigid, deceitful and spiteful, depressed and sad, too passive, self-righteous, superstitious and emotionally unstable, too conservative and old-fashioned, predictable and weak, unforgiving, aloof and frigid.
I hate pink. It represents being physically weak, over-emotional and over-cautious, having emotional neediness or unrealistic expectations, being naive, immature and girlish, lack of will power and lack of self worth.
I hate orange. It represents being superficial and insincere, dependent, over-bearing, self-indulgent, the exhibitionist, pessimistic, inexpensive, unsociable, and overly proud.
I hate yellow. It represents being critical and judgmental, being overly analytical, being impatient and impulsive, being egotistical, pessimistic, spiteful, cowardly, deceitful, non-emotional and lacking compassion.
I bang my head on the wall.
I hate white. It is plain, distant, unimaginative, critical and boring.
...and I hate black. It...is withholding, conservative and serious, power & control, sadness and negativity. It is the colour that ripped Cas away from me.
I scream on the top of my lungs.
I need you Cas.
Now Sam doesn't even bother to ask me what is happening because he'll know it will always be the same answer.
A year later.
"Everything is done?" I say to Sam. Who nods looking up and down the grocery list. We're in the busiest grocery shop in town because I couldn't bother to drive up to another store.
I walk down the aisle of bathroom cleaners.
But a specific body-wash catches my eye. 'Angel's body wash' it says on the packaging, it reminds me more of a person. Which I had given up on a month before. Jack also gave up on him since we had no choice. I miss you.
Flashback
"Cas, How was your...oh my god holy-" I walk into Cas, whose head is soaked in milk. And has fruit stains all over his trench-coat.
"Sorry...Dean." He says.
I facepalm myself. "Ugh...what happened?" He shrugs and says "I wanted to see how those things work" he points over to the blender on the kitchen, which has been broken by a certain son of a b-Wait...he's an angel, I shouldn't say that to him...
I sigh "Okay idiot, come here. I have another one in the cabinet over there will y-the hell?" I look over to see him balance an egg on his forehead. Which breaks on the ground a second later.
He looks up to me in terror. "So...Rry?" He awkwardly stands there...I sigh "It's okay."
He cracks a smile. After a while I start laughing too.
What a dork. A stupid one too.
Flashback ends
I smile to myself. I was wrong all the times I said I hated him. I need him.
"Sir could you please get aside?" I hear a voice behind me. I look over to see...
Wait. No.
"Castiel? You SON OF A B**CH!"
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Hiyyaaaa lovers! How is it? Tell me in the comments. Plus last chapter will be coming...Uh I don't have a schedule yet, but I'll try soon as possible!
Bye readers (I srsly appreciate you guys and girls!)