Something real

Chapter 5

Complications.

The drive home last night was really awkward.

I can't help thinking, as I recall the night before.

I told Toby we needed to stay friends because of Logan. I told him I don't want to lose our friendship, he's the best friend I've ever had.

I don't know how well he toke it, he was trying to be nice about it and stuff, offering small smiles and nodding gently. This just complicated everything...

"Everything okay?"

Logan asks.

I notice he's pretty far ahead of me, I catch up to where he is and we keep jogging down the sidewalk.

"Yah, just um, had a late night."

"Oh what were you doing last night?"

"Just hanging out with Toby."

"Again?"

"Yah. He's my best friend...you know that."

He mumbles something. I stop jogging.

"Okay," I start.

He stops and walks back a bit to face me.

"if you have a problem, tell me."

"It's like you like him more then me, it seems like you rather spend time with him than me!"

"Is this because I wouldn't sleep with you??"

"What?!"

"Well you just abruptly leave then call me this morning like nothing happened."

"Okay I admit maybe I shouldn't have left like that..but it's not like you gave me much of a choice."

"What!? I didn't tell you to leave!!!"

"Well you didn't tell me to stay either!!!"

I notice a few people who are also outside, glancing at us. We're getting pretty loud.

"Can we just go back to my house and talk please." I say more calmly.

~

"Okay, I don't chase people."

I try to say calmly, as soon as we walk in the door.

"Fine."

He says in monotone. He's staring at his feet. It's like he can't even make eye-contact with me...

Should things seriously be like this?

"Can I ask you something?"

I ask, after moments of straining silence.

"Sure."

"Would you have to be..when...when do you want to sleep with someone for the first time?"

He still doesn't look up.

"Answer me."

"I've...I'm not a virgin."

"What?"

"I'm not-"

"No, no I heard you the first time..."

I rub the back of my neck with hand, my eyes tightly closed. I don't think I ever really thought about it, but I want to be someone's first and I want...

"I want to be in love."

His eyes flash up to me.

"You-"

He stops.

Only one thought is going through my head at the moment. One sentence. One horrible sentence I realize I've been avoiding for quite some time.

"I don't love you."

I say, in almost a whisper.

"And I don't think I ever will."

He won't stop looking at me and his eyes that were once gorgeous, are painful and sad.

"Toby's a lucky guy."

Is all he says and he leaves.

I can't even think about that little comment, not when my relationship just crumbled to my feet.

~

A/N

I hope you like the book so far, I love writing it! Please vote, comment and check out the next chapter soon! I update every Tuesday (: