Something real

Chapter 7

Wake up call

Some people realize what they want or what has to be done at the last second. Or they have a great realization as their life flashes before their eyes. I guess that I'm lucky that all it toke for me to be standing outside of Toby's backdoor at two in the morning is my aunt being a little emtional abbout her work, and half a bottle of wine. 

Aunt Lea isn't a drinker but when she does drink she is a total light weight. 

Exacly twenty-three minutes ago she crashed through the front door, trying to be as quiet as possible I'm sure, and was crying her eyes out. Turns out one of her long-term patients died from cancer earlier today. Half a bottle of wind later she comes stumbling in the door. 

She automatically woke me up when I heard a glass shadder in the kitchen. Slowly walking down the stairs, baseball bat in hand, I found her face down on the counter sobbing, and peices of broken glass a feet away on the floor. 

Her patient died without telling this guy she loved him.

I will be forever thankful to this girl that I don't even know the name of because I didn't have to have a near death experience or cancer to realize I love someone.

Now I am standing outside of that someone's door. 

It's been exactly thirty seconds since I've knocked on his door. 

"I'm not a murder." 

I say out into the dark. I knock harder, and for longer. 

"Toby it's me." I say a bit louder. 

A sleepy, and very confused, boy answers the door, moments later. 

"Are you awake?"

"No." 

Small giggles escape my nervous mouth. 

He stands there for a minute rubbing his eyes and running his fingers through his hair. 

"Okay, now I'm awake."

"Okay. My aunt's patient died today."

This only seems to confuse him more. 

"Cancer..she never told this guy she loved him apperantly. Toby...I don't have cancer, I'm so alive and I feel like..I am taking what I have for granite. Okay so I had two bad relationships..so what? Even if..even if..what I'm about to say didn't exsisted frankly I should try to get back up and just keep living."

"If what didn't exsist?"

I take a deep breath. 

"My love for you. I am in love you. And I know how that sounds, I know this seems crazy and impulsive but I don't care. Because this is how I feel and it's the realest thing I have ever felt and I am chasing after that feeling with everything that I am." 

I take another deep breath. I can't read his face at all he's just looking at me. It's one of those moments where you have to be prepared for either everyhing to fall into place, or for your world to fall to pieces. 

Again, I guess I'm lucky. 

Some how Toby's lips say more when they are touching mine, more than they ever would when they're not. 

This time around it feels right. The disragarding of our clothes, being tossed on the ground. Our skin touching. Every movement makes me feeling better than the last, I know I'm where I''m supposed to be. And I don't question it for a second. And I guess that's what we all really want..an unquestionable love for someone. That is something that will really, make you feel alive.