I always hated the inscrutable bitch
I never fell for her "mystic" charm
To me, she's a painted, simpering witch
With a smile more frozen than warm
Guess I'm not alone in needing analysis
She too has been probed and prodded it's said
Science says that's the smile of a misanthropist
It becomes a frown once you turn your head
Men have so many mental frailties
One of which is fawning over the inaccessible
Like human-hamsters in Dante's Divine Comedy
Endlessly treadmilling the last circle of Hell
The following example of this fault takes the cake
For illustrating men's eternal stupidity
Worshiping a harlot for centuries on the make
Meanwhile ignoring the wonder that is me
And they are forever forgiving her ugly history
She's been bedroomed with emperors and kings
Thieves and practitioners of forgery
My soul bears no such ineradicable stains
And she's woefully deficient in femininity
Form-wise she appears flat as a board
Nary a curve from beneath chin to infinity
Meanwhile, my lush contours are ignored
She never lacks for adoring company
Men even pay to stand in line to view her
Why do they waste on her such idolatry?
With a Stormy Daniels clone right here
Perhaps the single greatest conundrum
Is why her portrait gets such veneration
While my boudoir pics on EasyMeat.com
Attract little to no masculine attention
Six times I've physically assaulted her
Employing acids, stones, and paints
I always felt justified in vandalizing the cur
But her survival makes me doubt the saints
Sadly, it may be that I've actually been bested
By a refugee from the land of pizza
One whose innards were once found infested
What's so great about the Mona Lisa?
YOU ARE READING
The Moaning Lesser
PoetryA narcissist bemoans a rival getting the limelight. Scientists seem as much fascinated by her favorite enemy as she and have tried, in vain, to determine the basis for her rival's broad attraction. In the course of their study, they have found tha...
