diary of the soul

Diary entry #4

Dear anyone,Its been a long time since the last time I wrote. To start, I'm 15 now and I'm almost done with freshman year. To say it has been stressful is an understatement of the year. Bringing a little positivity to light I figured myself out and I'm bisexual. It was a major relief to figure it out. And I also have a boyfriend. He has grayish blue eyes, dirty blonde hair, and he's tall. For the most part, he makes me happy. But sometimes...he makes me want to scream. Sometimes when we are texting he makes me feel as if he doesn't care about me. When I try to rant to him he's not very serious and doesn't really try to comfort me. For the most part, all he says is a virtual hug. It makes me so upset. We text more then we talk in real life. In real life, we don't talk much at all. Sometimes I wonder if I should break it off because I deserve better. I deserve someone who will act like they care, someone who will truly love me. I feel as if I don't even have emotions. I rarely cry and I'm always mad, cold, or distant. Normally I'm mad for no reason. It doesn't help that school is so stressful. I'm struggling to keep all the pieces together. I'm crumbling at the seems. I'm slowly slipping and I'm not sure how I will find my way. I have two very close friends of mine that have given me advice and been there for me whenever I've needed it and I'm so very thankful. I love them both so very much and they know what they can always come to me with anything. Even if it can be draining to give out advice. I'm rereading this and man there's a lot. I feel better getting all of that off my chest though so I feel a little better now.Farewell---Alexa Rose🌹-----------------------------------------------------------AN-- I know that it has been pretty much a year since I last updated this book but I'm going to continue it. I know its depressing atm so I think I'm going to make it a little more positive. I may even put her home life in it.Welp, til next time,-Erin🖤