Prologue
My mother was right when she said that not all things go according to plans. She said they have their own ways of complicating lives. But all things, the easy and the complicated, also have their own ways of serving their purposes, and it shall make everything make sense one day.
I waited for that day. Dahil gusto kong malaman kung bakit nangyari ang mga nangyari. In fact, I waited for so long.
Kaso minsan pala sobrang tagal din ng paghihintay na dapat nating gawin.
"Ma'am, hinahanap ka po ni Ma'am Daisy," Janine, my assistant said. Napatingin ako sa kanya. She was all smiles kaya napangiti na lang din ako.
Tinanguan ko na lamang siya and left my unfinished bouquet to her.
Sunday has been the busiest day of the week. The orders are a lot more than the usual lalo na ngayon at Valentine's day pa at dalawa lang kami ni Janine ang nandito sa shop. I don't even know how we managed to make it half the day.
"Yes? What took you here?" I asked my best friend as I entered my office. She's already sitting on the couch and looking uneasy.
Ano na naman kaya ang problema nito? Hindi naman siya ganito whenever she visits me here.
She stood up from her seat and walked towards me. Iyong mukha niya ay puno ng pag-aalala na may halong lungkot at takot. Kinakabahan na rin tuloy ako.
"Can you take a seat first?" Bigla ay sabi niya. And now I wonder more why she's acting like this.
"And why would I do that?" Tanong ko sa kanya na nasagot niya lang matapos ang ilang paghinga nang malalim na parang kinakalma ang sarili. She's giving me the nerves to be uncomfortable.
"Kasi may sasabihin ako. At kung mag-collapse ka man, I won't be responsible for catching you, okay?" Sagot niya. I would love to laugh if this is just something for fun. Pero pakiramdam ko hindi maganda ang sasabihin niya kaya siguro hindi ako natawa sa kabaliwan niya.
And so I just sat just like what she said.
"Now say it," matigas na sabi ko kahit na ang totoo ay nanghihina na ang kalamnan ko sa kaba.
Humugot pa ulit siya ng ilang malalim na hininga bago tumingin sa akin nang diretso sa mata.
"I think I saw Zandrey," she finally said. "I'm sorry, Ai. Alam ko tahimik na ang buhay mo and you don't want him back but-"
"But that's not how life works," I cut her. I tried to act cool even if deep inside, I was panicking. "I know this day would come."
It took six years.
Six long years.
Kung kanina ay kinabahan ako, ngayon ay mas lalo akong kinabahan.
The past still haunts me. It still hurts and I'm still mad at him for making me believe he'll stay. He caused me nothing but pain and trouble. Kaya kung sakali mang magkita kami ay hindi ko alam kung paano siya haharapin. I might slap him or anything I could possibly do to hurt him but that won't be enough. That would be nothing compared to what I've been through when he left me.
"May maitutulong ba ako?" Nag-aalalang tanong niya. "I want to help in any way possible, Ai. Gusto kong makabawi because I wasn't there when you were hurting. Nakaka-guilty that I made you feel you were alone," she said sincerely. Daisy's the happy-go-lucky type. At parang nakakapanibago that's she's this serious.
"It's fine, Daisy. I know you never intended to leave me. You have your own life too," I said.
"But I still feel sorry. Because I know you're still hurting right now."
