Before I go to bed, I just need to get something out.
I... I don't believe I have once felt true genuine happiness.
All my life, things have been dark... filled with arguments, troubles finding somewhere to live, etc....
Before you go saying I'm just looking for attention, this is how I truly feel. I truly 100% wonder what happiness is actually like. No, what the light is like. Why can't I just embrace it already? In the words of my stepmom: 'sleeping sheeple' I am a sleeping sheepson. How...? I..... I don't know! I'm trying to open up, awaken, embrace the light... but how do I do it? How do I awaken my mind? How do I embrace the light? I mean, I know for sure that once I do that I'll be rid of my past, live in the present, and think of the great future... But right now, all I do is seclude myself from others, afraid of what they might do to me. I live in a world away from the real world, because I cannot bring myself to face reality. Why? I don't know... I don't know.....
They ask what life is. It differs from person to person, Hell, changes in a lifetime. Right now, my life isn't real life. I hope you understand... I really needed to get this out...
